Corey Boutwell Podcast
Come to my free webinar here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/mindsetupgrade
Subscribe to my newsletter here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/subscribe
Join Set The Standard Community Here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com
Thank you for being apart of my community
Corey Boutwell Podcast
Master Your Masculinity With Dr. John Gray #252
Let me know what you think of this podcast! I personally get the messages here :)
Join my email list here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/subscribe
Want to grow as a man in 2024? https://www.coreyboutwell.com/ Want to get to your next level in personal and professional life? https://www.coreyboutwell.com/thenextlevelretreat
If you’re new to my page my name’s Corey Boutwell. I’m the founder and CEO of men’s personal development company Set The Standard. I’m a professional bodybuilder, I have coached over 300 men to their full potential and created a multi six figure business in just 3 years. This podcast is where I share EVERYTHING I learn along the way.
You can follow me here, https://www.instagram.com/coreyboutwell/ for daily updates and more content
FREE Mindset Webinar: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/mindsetupgrade
Join The Community Here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/communitymembership
Make sure you listen to the podcasts all the way through to get your discount code.
John Gray is the world's leading and best-selling author on relationships. His book Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus cracked over 15 million sales worldwide, which is just insane. And today we had a chance to sit down with him and talk about relationships, his opinion on men, how testosterone works, ejaculation, sex. We went through live a guided meditation. Throughout his life he has been a monk for nine years, been celibate for nine years, he has had a wife pass away. He has lost all of his money and regained it. He has lost large amounts of money and regained it. He protects and provides for his entire family and he has had one of the most viewed TEDx speaking YouTube videos.
Speaker 1:And today we had a chance to sit down with John for the second time and get straight into conversation for how men can be better, how women and men can work together in relationships, the role of testosterone and estrogen, how we can use both to the best of our ability. And then he ran me through a life-guided meditation that you can also use when listening to this episode. So let's get straight into it. I can't wait to hear what you guys think. Please subscribe if you found this beneficial and we'll see you on the inside.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's get going. Who are we talking to today and what are we talking about? I?
Speaker 1:was talking about. Hey, firstly, how many interviews do you do a week, john? I always get so impressed by how many you do. It's so insane About 15. About 15.
Speaker 1:That is just a lot of energy. Yeah, Firstly, thanks so much for coming on and like this is the second time I know you do so many, so you do so many, so, just like the second time. Last time I spoke to you it was like a year and a half, so thanks for coming on again and talking to me. It was, um, I had such good feedback about our podcast cause I run a men's personal development community. Everyone was just like yeah, they're like yeah, it's called set the standard. It's in Australia. It's awesome. We've worked with like 300 people and we do like some pretty insane retreats, but yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:At some point today I would like you to interview me, because for men it's about testosterone and one of the men want to know how do you pump up your testosterone? I'm just seeing so many men. Their testosterone levels are dangerously low and if you have belly fat it will go low, and I can explain that for guys, and then I can also explain how I got rid of my belly fat in a month. Uh, you know there's a there's a.
Speaker 2:I did it mainly for major health reasons because I mean, I'm in my 70s, so you're more vulnerable heart attacks as a man in your 70s number one killer of men. And if your waist is more than 40 inches, you're you're at risk, okay. And the reason you're at risk is because the belly and a man produces huge amounts of estrogen. Estrogen lowers testosterone. Estrogen now puts more fat on the belly and then the belly produces more estrogen. So it's a cycle of some of these guys who are really fit and they're in the gym, but when they're 50 and beyond, they start getting these bellies and exercise alone isn't gonna do it. So anyway, I could talk about if you're open to it.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'll go with your flow here, but this was such a big deal to me. You know, here I'm in my 70s. My testosterone is 50% higher when I was a young man. It's only going up for me. Yeah, look at you. All right, you're the man. All right, that's good. So we look at ways that people can keep their testosterone up, and there's a research study by Dr Arciero, who wrote something called protein pacing, and I've been doing it and my weight's what it was when I was 35 years old.
Speaker 2:Okay in the 70s and I put on a lot of weight, but basically a lot for me was 15 pounds over. But 15 pounds over is still a lot of fat. Okay, it's not like it's as like I built all my muscles up, like you and I. That's my weight, you know, I'm just my. You know I got firm muscles and that's enough for me. But anyway, the point is is that if you incubate proteins, you pre-digest them in your kitchen. You can drink that and you get 95 percent of the amino acids for building muscle and for brain chemistry, which is a steak. You only get 30 percent of the amino acids for building muscle and for brain chemistry, which is a steak. You only get 30% of the amino acids. A shake protein shake you get about 10 to 20 times, and vegetable proteins for the vegan guys you're only getting 10% of the amino acids.
Speaker 2:So you got to eat a lot of protein that way, vegetables, but anyway. So that's something. If you want me, are you interested in me talking about that?
Speaker 1:definitely we'll just we'll just go from here, because I'll do the intro afterwards um, okay, yeah, we'll start out, we'll begin okay yeah, because I find that fascinating. I've literally read, like most of your books, um, and I've listened to, like, like most of them, like it's insane, what am I like? I actually learned a lot about testosterone from you and I like I compete in natural bodybuilding. I compete in untested federation, so I beat guys on steroids because I got a pro card on there, which is really cool. But congratulations.
Speaker 2:I like natural.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sounds real good.
Speaker 2:Are you?
Speaker 1:married. Are you married? I'm in a relationship. I'm in long-term relationships. Been together for like three, and I mean long-term relationships your wife will like, natural too.
Speaker 2:You know I have to say a funny joke. My wife says to me all the time she always says you know. She says are you taking medicine for your penis? I say no, honey, it's you. And she says you're my medicine.
Speaker 1:Well, let's actually get into that, because one thing that, like you know, I work a lot on, a lot on, because my purpose is to challenge and set the standard for inspiring leaders, specifically men. A really impactful book that I read of yours was Boy Crisis, talking about depression and everything else. What I noticed was in relationships, men struggle so hard to not get aggressive and not fight back because they have this nice guy thing and need for approval and validation. Then they end up blowing up or getting aggressive and I didn't realize that your estrogen spikes. When I learned that from you blew my brain and obviously my brain too.
Speaker 2:Everybody has associated male aggression with high testosterone, and it's not. It's when high testosterone turns into high estrogen. It's the estrogen that causes fight, flight, fake or fold. And you know a lot of guys today are folding. You know masculinity has been so repressed by our culture that they're procrastinating and that procrastination is another symptom of low testosterone. It's like folding. You know, I just kind of give up. Rather than testosterone says go, testosterone, just keep going.
Speaker 1:That's insane. I also want to know as well, because I'm like I'm really interested in this I want to know your opinion on that actual topic a little bit deeper. But then I also want to know, from your perspective, how you apply like the knowledge of what you've learned within relationships and men's testosterone to business, because you've been a successful author for such a long time. I mean, you spent your time, like your nine years of celibacy, as a monk. You learn all these like insane. You know how to have like the multiple orgasms and all the rest of it, like the body orgasms and all the rest of that. And then and then I've seen like all the success and everything that you've had and I'm like man, I swear there's so many tools that you would know that we don't know as men. That would help us further along our journey and I just I really want to open that conversation with you.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, so you know, something I don't always talk about, but it's. It's, I think, is the foundation of my testosterone, my drive, my creativity, my commitment One is intimate relationship with a woman. There's no way you can have as high testosterone without an intimate relationship with a woman. If it's a good relationship, I mean you have to have the relationship skills where a woman can raise you up higher than even your work does. But the foundation of all of that is I meditate, okay. So do you meditate? Do you have a meditation practice?
Speaker 1:Not currently. I meditated every single day for a year and then I'll probably meditate two to three times a week, but not a daily practice at the moment.
Speaker 2:I do it every morning and I do it before bed a daily practice at the moment. I do it every morning and I do it before bed. It actually makes it easier for me to fall asleep because I'll just sit and meditate until I'm tired of sitting up straight, because I don't use back support. So I'm sitting up, just sit up for a while meditating and then I go okay, I'm tired, I'm going to go down the technique I use. What's your technique that you use for meditation?
Speaker 1:So mine, I did, uh, I did the app, the waking up app, um, by, I forgot his name. He did about I went through and learn all their meditations. I just focus on the transition point of my breath when it goes out to in, and I just focus on that and then, as I'm focusing on that, whatever pops up to my head, I just acknowledge it and then see what happens. So it's that, or I'll do like a Joe Dispenza meditation.
Speaker 2:So which one of those do you do?
Speaker 1:The main meditation that I like doing, which I do twice a week, is actually one of the walking ones, so it's like a stepping into your future self, but when it's a laying down one, at the moment I'm very interested in using personal development for business. That's my thing at the moment is I will do some sort of abundance meditation.
Speaker 2:Manifestation meditation is often called. Okay, here's what I do, which most people don't teach, although you can see it in different ancient cultures that focus a lot on meditation and manifestation. They have demons. If you look in Tibet, you'll see there's these gods and there's demons. If you're a young meditator and you're trying to learn how to raise your consciousness, they'll put you in a graveyard and tell the child, the young man, there's ghosts here, just don't move. But you can't move and they scare them.
Speaker 2:Okay, so the key to raising, bringing more light into your life, and to manifesting more energy to make your dreams come true so you have to pull in energy to make things happen is you have to realize that we, to make things happen is you have to realize that we have blocks to letting that flow through us. So the blocks say what are the blocks? You have to look at what those blocks are and they are the feelings of anger, and so you'll see these demons who are like angry. You have to embrace the angry demon inside of you. That's what that's all symbolic of, is you have to. They even have names from whatever, but we have our English name, which is anger. You need to feel anger and then, once you feel anger, then to feel grief, sadness, and then you feel a disappointment, and then you feel what's underneath. That is fear, disappointment, and then you feel what's underneath, that is fear. You see, when you're a man, if you're angry, really what's going on? I could say to you, actually you're afraid. And any angry man, I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid, no way I'm afraid. But if you weren't afraid, you'd be cool, calm and collected. See, that's the whole. You know, the whole Kung Fu thing is you're never upset, you never have no fear. And the reason you have no fear is that you have studied every possible move.
Speaker 2:When I was a young, I was actually in the front of karate magazines when I was 12 years old, before the movie the Karate Kid. I was because I'm a little guy, but so my mother wanted me to be strong and have confidence, so she had me go to Kung Fu classes and karate classes and I got very good at it. Not that I like fighting people, but it was a good discipline. And so the reason you become without fear in a fight is because you know every possible move somebody can make and you've practiced it and you practice it and you practice it. So that's the whole thing about testosterone and masculinity is you have a discipline and you practice it. And once you know what you can do, then you have no fear.
Speaker 2:And because they want to always keep you out of fear. And one of the ways you stay out of fear is you feel it and you contain it. Masculinity is containment, femininity is expression. So women need to express their feelings. Then that when you're in a relationship with a woman and she starts giving you a hard time and she expresses her feelings I mean I was just counseling a woman who was telling me about her relationship you know they're using profanity I mean just F you and he says, well, f you and and you're a blah, blah, blah, and you're a blah, blah, blah, and they just go at it and I I say, yeah, after a few years you'll have no interest in your relationship, you'll have no passion, because the woman does not feel safe.
Speaker 2:If, when she her worst self comes out and a man reacts with his worst self, we have to learn to contain that. Okay, we just, and it's called sucking it up. You know, it's why you know you've got all those muscles. You got to use those muscles to suck in and hold it in. And this is the opposite of what every woman is being told you should do. And so they're going to tell me what you feel and what's going on. I want to hear it. And the reason is we have this psychology which is telling.
Speaker 2:All the books on psychology say we all have to talk about our feelings. You don't, as a man, you know the most you should do is, when you're lifting weights, grumble a bit. Ah, that's about it, you. You don't talk about your feelings. It doesn't mean you. If you have emotions and if you talk about your feelings, it doesn't mean you. If you have emotions and if you talk about your feelings, then you're going to have too many negative emotions. But let's say you do have negative emotions, then what you do is you contain them. You don't you. You don't let those emotions control you in any way. How can an emotion control you? It can cause you to fight. It could cause you to run away. It can cause you to have an addiction to avoid feeling what you're feeling. You don't want your negative emotions to control you. You know the old saying is feel the fear but don't act on it. Feel the fear and take the step, and the more you feel the fear and take the step, the more you're mastering your fear.
Speaker 2:So I used to have, uh, you know, I'm a little guy and and, uh, I had older brothers five older brothers, was it five? Four older brothers, and they were brutal to me. So I had some experience of fear, okay. And so when I got in front of an audience when I was 19 years old, teaching transcendental meditation I was a young teacher of that uh, I fainted. I had so much anxiety, I had so much fear. And you know, when you have, when you step out of your comfort zone, naturally you're going to have some fear because it's you have the unknown. So that's fear is the emotion there, and and it was, but it didn't go away. Even though I meditated, it didn't go away.
Speaker 2:If I was in front of an audience, I'd feel that anxiety and I thought, well, maybe I'm not cut out to be a public speaker, and anybody's heard me speak knows I'm cut out to do it. I have no anxiety, I have no fear, I'm in the moment, I'm creative, I'm funny, I had a broadway show, I've done all this stuff, but I could do it because I don't have fear. I don't have to rehearse to be me. I'm just being me, and that's what we want is to find our gifts and our talents. You have to discipline yourself to learn them and then you can just be you, using what you have. And that takes time, but I read it. This is my favorite story to tell men. You know, because you know we all have fear, and it doesn't mean we can't be successful, but we have to learn to master those emotions.
Speaker 2:And everybody knows about the Beatles, right? You know? I know you're a bit younger than me, but when I was growing up, the Beatles had come out. I'm like 13 years old and the girls are all screaming and actually what they're having was orgasms. Ok, they were just baiting and screaming. And I saw the Beatles and I said to myself I'm not going to stand up and scream like those girls, but as soon as the Beatles came out, I was screaming, everybody was screaming. We're a collective consciousness. But anyway, what people don't know about this most famous rock and roll band? They only toured for three years and I didn't even know that. You just think. Oh, it's a super famous group. The Rolling Stones have been doing it for 40 years and I didn't even know that you just think God. It's a super famous group. The Rolling Stones have been doing it for 40 years. You know maybe 50 years, I don't know. So I read an interview with John Lennon of the Beatles and they asked him why did you stop?
Speaker 1:touring and they said the anxiety was just too much.
Speaker 2:Their anxiety was too much. They were throwing up. They were just so uncomfortable the day before, the day of, and then afterwards, after those concerts, they'd go berserk and they'd have to have a lot of promiscuous sex. They'd have to drink a lot, take a lot of drugs. Because, see, what happens is, every time you step out of your comfort zone, you're going to pull in more energy. Your body has to be able to move that energy through, and what blocks the energy is the belief that I can't. You know, I'm going to try this out. I'm not sure I can do it, okay. So your mind gets in the way like I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, somebody's better than me, I won't be successful, I don't really know what I'm doing and how do I know for sure? We all have these limited thoughts inside. And so what happens? You step out of your comfort zone. Those limited thoughts have kept you in a box to a certain extent. You know we all have our feeling OK, this is what I can do. Then you kind of get inspired. You see somebody doing something that you want to be able to do. Like, I'm sure for you you have your mentors. When it comes to bodybuilding. I mean you didn't just start doing this, you saw somebody do it. And when you saw somebody do it you went, hey, I can do that. Now the difference is, if I see somebody doing bodybuilding, I don't go, I can do that, okay. I see somebody write a best-selling book, I go I can do that. I see a football player, I go I can't do that. I tried to, then I got smashed okay. So you find your way where somebody inspires you. This is where mentorship happens and for a lot of people my books are popular because to a certain extent everybody wants to have a healthy, loving relationship and here I've done that and so you have a mentor, can guide you in that direction, inspires you. You can't just go out of nothing. You have to have a direction until you're sourcing.
Speaker 2:Meditation helps you to find a source where you actually can create something beyond that's ever been created. It's something new and different, and that's usually a combination of two things and something new comes from it. You know people say there's never anything new under the sun. Every minute is new under the sun. There's nothing happening now that's ever happened before. There's not one little snowflake that's the same as another one. There's not one fingerprint that's the same as somebody else. You are unique, you and you have a unique destiny, but do you fulfill it is another issue. So the idea of meditation is a way to bring yourself back to experiencing more and more the source of where everything's coming from. So that little gap when you're doing the breathing is the beginning of an inhale and then it's the beginning of the exhale. So you're noticing that. So it's always the in-between gap. That's the key.
Speaker 2:Now, the meditation I'd like to guide you in right now. Would you like to have everybody like to get a? This is a let's go. You know breathing exercises Well.
Speaker 2:First I wanted to do another breathing one, since you talked about the breathing one, something I do, which there's two wonderful books on breathing. One is called Breathe, another one's called Just Breathe, and then I have my own version that I do. But these are books that really explain the power of breath and that the more you exhale, the more oxygen you can absorb. This is the whole biology is, if you exhale more fully, then you can absorb more oxygen inside. And also we live in kind of a chaotic, stressful world. We want to also have quiet moments where we turn down to the source of our being this sort, before the thought emerges to be. At that place between I had this thought. Have another thought, well in between is who you are. You're connected to the universe. They're the source there. So, in in terms of actual biology as well, we have the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic, sympathetic nervous system. That's your recovery time as a weightlifter. You know you, that's sympathetic, and then you have to have recovery time and that's the muscles.
Speaker 2:That's right if you don't have your recovery time, uh, which I just tossed in here. Your testosterone levels will not restore. It's actually studying you guys back in the day before. I mean guys who do work out in the gym. I do work out in the gym, but not like some guys.
Speaker 2:All right, when I was young, it was before the internet and in my 20s I would try to understand the difference between males and females and, of course, one difference, of course, is we have more muscle mass, right, and there's more men in the gym At least there used to be. Now there's more women, but there's more men in the gym. They're taking over, but anyway. So I noticed that all of the muscle magazines in those days it wasn't internet all the muscle magazines had ads for libido. Now I'm in my. When I look, I'm a teenager. I do not need ads for libido. Now I'm in my. When I look, I'm a teenager, I do not need ads for libido. Okay, the last thing I've never needed an ad for libido. What's this going on? So what was it? So that's when I began to understand that it takes testosterone to build muscles and if you don't give yourself enough downtime after working out, if you over-exercise after working out, if you over-exercise, you don't rebuild the testosterone.
Speaker 2:And then later, as a counselor as in many cases of guys who are you know, one guy was the trainer for New Zealand Army. You know, he's a big guy and a muscle builder and his problem was in his relationship with his girlfriend. He couldn't get erections. Now, in the beginning he could, because there was. It was new. So you get new. You get new and different. You're always going to get a surge of testosterone with a woman, but after familiarity sets in, he just couldn't get an erection. And yet he could go online or meet a new girl and he could have his erection back. So what?
Speaker 1:was that about? That's very confusing.
Speaker 2:Well, the answer is is when you're in a relationship with a woman, naturally your estrogen levels go up as well. See, this is why we like women is that our testosterone goes up, but also our estrogen goes up. To have an erection, you need to have testosterone and estrogen. That's more recent research shows. It's not just testosterone, it's estrogen, but it's the right balance of testosterone to estrogen. So so this one guy said well, just go have your testosterone tested and his was zero or maybe a hundred. You know, it was literally like zero. And he says how can that be? Look at me.
Speaker 2:I said it's all being used up in your muscles. You need to, like, make sure you have more time in between, not that I'm a trainer of muscles, but you need to have more recovery time. And you need to have more recovery time which is separate from a woman. Okay, let's say your recovery time is at home and your wife's looking at you for more. You're not going to recover. It needs to be complete cave time, and you you've read my books on all the whole thing on cave, which is men have hobbies that they do which are challenging but not stress producing, challenging but not stress producing. And I think that when it comes to actually muscle mass, it's taking a nap or getting good sleep and whatever. But also my belief is that you need to also have hobbies other than just building muscles, other things that are challenging to you, that don't produce cortisol, because you are producing cortisol when you're doing up there and or at least adrenaline and as a little note, I like to throw in these little pieces of information that I found to be fascinating is, when you lift weights are in any time, you're challenging yourself, you're producing adrenaline, and adrenaline gets used up by using your muscles. So that's why you can be somewhat stressed and you can go work out, stress yourself that way, and now you're not stressed after that. So this is the thing about men is that adrenaline, which is moderate stress. But if you have adrenaline and it doesn't turn off, if you don't use it through your muscles, then adrenaline stays in your body and it will turn into cortisol, and cortisol is the deadly, deadly stress hormone.
Speaker 2:It doesn't just disappear right away. Ok, it can't just go away. So this is like if you're upset and you just say stuck and upset. And this is something, guys, I didn't understand about myself, but in my marriage, when my wife would trigger me, which you know she could disapprove of me, say something, and you know I heard I'm this great guy and she said something terrible about me. It's like I don't. That's not fair, that's not right. So I get triggered. I would just shut down. I mean, just have you. Can you relate to that, cory?
Speaker 1:where you just shut down. I still do.
Speaker 2:It's so hard to not it's, it's powerful and and we just don't what just happened? You know, it's like I have no heart at all, okay, and and women cannot understand that. Women are terrified by us shutting down. The reason for that is that women don't fully shut down unless it's years of feeling resentment, and then, after years of feeling resentment, they don't just open up right away. We do have the power to open up, but what I found to be the case and this is so practical for men to understand, who have that tendency to shut down, ok and what it is is something triggers us that causes emotions to come up, which would be things like anger or fear. And we don't because we're good guys, we don't want to hurt anybody. We immediately push it away by shutting down. We don't want to hurt anybody, we immediately push it away by shutting down. That's why I explain to women if a guy shuts down, that's because he's a good guy and he wants to protect you. But how long we stay shut down is determined by how many words we expressed when we were feeling angry. This is just a simple formula how many words you speak when you're angry determines how long you're going to be shut down, because you cannot open up after you're shut down, it just your system. It's literally like you got bruised and then every word that you're saying while you've been bruised by your partner is you're getting slapping on that bruise until it's bleeding and it's pus coming out and everything. And you're over there having this argument, thinking you're winning it because you're being logical, and explain why are you saying that? Well, that's ridiculous. I didn't say that. This is where we start arguing with women. It's deadly to us and then eventually we just shut down and over time, that will lower our testosterone. There's just no question about that. You just don't want to have that. You want to have a history with a woman of success. Because what also lowers our testosterone over time in a relationship is if we argue with women with anger instead of being at ease and comfortable. And let me hear what you're saying and let's try to figure this out, or let me think about this and we'll talk tomorrow.
Speaker 2:That's the phrase whenever you start to get triggered and we, all human beings, get triggered, particularly by the people who love us, and we love why? Because we have no defenses and when, as soon as you have sex with a woman, she has power over you and you have power over her because think about what sex is sex is. I don't have sex with a woman. She has power over you and you have power over her Because think about what sex is Sex is. I don't have sex with just anybody. I have sex just with my wife. I'm giving her the power to turn me on and she's giving me power to turn her on. She didn't give other people that power. So we get naked with each other, we stimulate each other and I'm letting you make me feel really, really good. That means I'm giving you power over me. So then that's, that's naked. And oh my God, I had sex today. Afterwards I just lay there and feel like man, that was great. And then she says you are amazing, and I just, I just love, love, love being naked. Okay, after victorious, it's just. This is the greatest thing is to be naked with your partner after having sex, because you're totally transparent and we can do that, because I make it safe for her.
Speaker 2:Every guy says, well, I want to have to convince my partner to have sex after a few years. And you get into this thing of the guy wants sex more than a woman. And then he gets over 40 and then she's wanting sex more than him, but she's not really wanting sex. She's wanting him to desire her like he used to desire her when she would say no. That's a little, a little bit of the war of sexes there, but the and that will shut a man's sex desire down. It's very important for men never to feel rejected in sex. If you feel rejected by your partner in sex, usually it's about three times, three rejections where you know you're like hey, let's have sex, and she's like and there's a time in the beginning where she's like open and ready for most couples because the dopamine is new.
Speaker 2:When the dopamine is there, our testosterone is much higher, which causes us to want more sex. It causes women to want more sex. It causes women to have higher estrogen. When estrogen goes really high then they'll start to desire sex. If their estrogen isn't high, they can't want sex. So you know, I would say to my wife you know you want to have sex and she's like no, and I take it personally. Why wouldn't I take it personally? But I understood that women can't just want sex. Even though in the beginning they do, it's only because their estrogen is so high. So that's why in the bedroom. We have all these bedroom skills to stimulate estrogen in a woman, because we don't need the estrogen. Ok, just her being naked raises their estrogen and our testosterone goes up because she's getting naked with us, you know. So that's a big biological reward system for us. You're the alpha male if a woman gets undressed in front of you. There's nothing that will increase your testosterone more than a woman who is getting undressed in front of you because she feels safe.
Speaker 2:Now, there is such a thing where a woman isn't you know she basically is inside going I'm, you know I'm not really open to him emotionally, but I'll have sex with him. That would be your prostitute. That will turn you on a few times but then you would not be interested in her again. It's what allows a man to stay interested in a woman is she can get naked and be naked emotionally and feel safe. See if she feels safe. That's why prostitutes never want to kiss. Okay, because that that's estrogen. Okay, that means I, I'm going to open myself up to you and those women who have, who have online and everything like that. All that does is it sucks men's life force, energy. So you know being being a meditator, for you know, nine years I was a celibate monk and when you're celibate you have, you keep your again, it's containing your energy and I only would ejaculate with a woman that I loved, who loved me, and then I can maintain my spiritual consciousness. This, since you know, I have this a big presence, because I meditate, I connect with that inner quiet and so forth. It radiates. It's a radiance that comes out of, of when you feel good about yourself and you feel relaxed, cool, calm and collected. That's masculinity cool, calm and collected.
Speaker 2:And what I found is when, after nine years of real celibacy and and not all monks are real celibates they could be having sex or they're having sex with themselves. You're not celibate if you're having sex with yourselves. What you're doing is you're just wasting the energy and you become weaker that way. Because what I found is when I married my wife, bonnie, and I ejaculated with her because she loved me so much and I loved her so much and there was such a commitment, then I didn't lose any energy when I ejaculated. But when I had lots of girlfriends, what I noticed is a lot of my consciousness would dim. I feel like, yeah, what just happened? I lost energy. It wouldn't stay that long. I can rebuild my energy. But it's kind of like you have a bank account of charisma and potency and people are drawn to you, they trust you, they're attracted to you. That is containing your energy. The same thing is containing your emotions, not acting on negative emotions, but we do have negative emotions, depending upon you know. We have a male side which is detached. We have a female side that's emotional. We want to be more detached than emotional. What we want and detachment doesn't mean indifference. There's another really important discernment. I'm completely detached and my wife just feels so safe with me because, you know, imagine your kung fu fighters. You know they're kicking them around, kick me again, kick me again. That's what these abs are for. You know, I could take it If you could. If you could take it.
Speaker 2:When a woman's that way, then what happens is she can't make you wrong. It's the most important thing for women is to feel safe, and in order to feel safe, sometimes they'll just do whatever they can to upset you, and if you're not upsetable, then they just fall in love with you. That is one of the most powerful things. That's what they, every woman, comes down to. I need to feel safe, and what? What does safety do? It's literally another hormone that's produced called oxytocin, and, and all this research shows that oxytocin lowers a woman's stress level. Yeah, if you're feeling safe, cortisol levels start to drop. But what it also does, it's like the doorway to her experiencing more estrogen. Estrogen in women is when I can depend on you, and so you have that advantage the more muscles you have.
Speaker 2:If you cannot be emotional with a woman in a negative sense, she has to fall in love with you, because all they're looking for is a strong man physically, but then it has to now go emotionally. Same thing with with uh, you know these girlfriends that I used to have before. I was all into commitment and love. I was sort of polyamorous. What what happened is, uh, after many times having sex with them, I wasn't interested in the physical, didn't do anything for me.
Speaker 2:Is that? What sustains the passion in a relationship is, yeah, they're willing to get naked with you, but also it's emotional nakedness. That's the thing. It's in the body but in the heart. If it's not in the heart, where they don't feel safe, I was like shocked. I'm lying in bed with this woman and she's got beautiful body. You know my type of body that I want. It was like perfect compatibility and I'm just not turned on to her at all. What was it? It was the lack of polarity. She was more masculine. I was more in my emotions and I learned how to master that. But go ahead and ask the question, make a comment, go ahead?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was, I was. I was just wondering, like, in regards to this specifically of what you mentioned at the start was like, how do you get, you know, if a relationship isn't super empowering and you want the relationship to be so empowering and so supportive and feel like more testosterone rush up from being in a relationship? It's like what are the tools and the secrets that, um, like you've learned, um, I can apply that you know we could apply, that we could apply today? That's one part of the question. And then the second thing is I want to finish the podcast off with that meditation that you mentioned beforehand.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, we should do that. Okay. So I got two for you. I'm going to give you two, but the tool is what I've all been talking about, and the reason I talk so much about it is that nobody is talking about this. My books, so much about it is that nobody is talking about this because you know my books are. You've read them all. You've seen. I got all these practical things. You want people to get those practical things.
Speaker 2:The most important thing is the simple aspect for guys to know when your testosterone's rising, you have no negative emotions. When your testosterone is going down, your estrogen will start to go up and estrogen is emotion. If your testosterone is down, the estrogen will go up and the estrogen will have you. You'll have negative emotions. Fight, flight, fake and fold those will be the negative emotions associated with those states, and symptoms of that are addiction uh, that is it. Fight is one. Uh. Running away, avoidance of intimacy you know that that would be another one and also the fear of taking risks okay, that would be one. Fight. Flight, another one is fake. Uh, just be pretending.
Speaker 2:But when you pretend everything's okay, you lose authenticity and so you lose passion in your life. And then the other one is fake and fold fold is procrastination. And we just that's our enemy as men today, as our testosterone levels are dropping fake procrastination is the killer. You know, there was something I read once just just do it, do it, do it. You know it's just do it. You know that was such a big phrase because and it doesn't mean you you have to do everything perfectly in life, but whenever you have a thought and there's a problem, it's not going to take more than five minutes, just do it, just do it. It doesn't mean perfect, but just do it. We just have to realize testosterone rises up when we rise to the occasion of taking action.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be you know, maybe I'm procrastinating writing another book, I'm not really sure, but everything else I just do. You know, I put a schedule on there. If a crisis is there, take action, take action. Don't dwell on feeling bad, take action Now. This would be terrible advice for a woman. Okay, women need to talk about what they're feeling, they need to share their emotions, they need to be heard. But for a man, you need to do something. And then if you do something that will raise testosterone, and if you don't feel better, having done something productive, then what you do is you analyze. So analysis, analyze what am I feeling. So that's a, you know, a more conscious man is going to have more self-awareness. So it's not just doing, is not always going to do it. Then, when you want to raise your testosterone, solve some problems where you're confident. I'm solving them, because a lot of your depression will always come from our negative emotions, by feeling powerless to make this woman happy, or powerless to make that money, or powerless to do this thing.
Speaker 2:And recently, I just give you an example I, I, it. You know we have this thing called karma, things are going. Just give you an example I? It, you know we have this thing called karma. Things are going to happen to us. You can't change that thing. All you can change is how you're going to react to the things that are going to happen to you. You can't change what's coming their way as it comes, and, and so you just change how you react to it and then you change the cycle that happening again. So if you react to it with confidence, taking action, with forgiveness, with understanding, with love, then things don't repeat. But things are going to come. It's just that's the reality.
Speaker 2:And so it really hit me big this year because in one month, in one three-month period, I lost eight-tenths of my income. Okay, I mean, I depend on my income to run. I got children, responsibilities, everything Boom. Now I have to go to my savings account, which was quickly going down, eight-tenths cut, and then at the same time, a month later, then my business partner who controls all my savings and it's sort of a tax protecting me from lawsuits and whatever. It's all in his name. So he's all in his name, so he's invested in him. He dies. He's 10 years younger than me and suddenly he dies.
Speaker 2:And he said a will. Of course, everything goes to me in the will, but he didn't put it in a trust. If you don't put your will in a trust, then you don't get what's in the will. It has to go to a court and the court, over years, will come out to you. It has to be in a trust. So if you have a will you love your family, have a will put it in a trust.
Speaker 2:So this all happens in a three minute, three mile period. My whole savings is gone, my whole income is gone. What am I gonna do? So I just had to laugh and say well, this is karma, how could that? It's kind of like when it rains, it pours, you know, just all came down, and so I just went into the mode of OK, what am I going to do about this? And this is a time for me not even to process my feelings. This was like I need a plan of action, I need to take action. And I solved the other problem. And now I'm making more money from my income. And I solved that other problem. I figured it all out and everything's fine again.
Speaker 2:But I took action. I had to take action. This is what men have to remember. Is that what's my action? And if I don't know what to do, then I find somebody who does know what to do and I get help. Those are key things, but it's like take action, take action.
Speaker 2:That's our salvation as men. Men, and what we have is in a call. You don't. But there is a place where, when you're more balanced of your masculine and feminine side, that this is what we're evolving into is we're human beings. We have the ability to go. I can access my male side and my female side. Okay, so that's. You know, I'm a great grandfather, I'm a romantic partner, I'm loving, I'm forgiving. That's you know. I'm a great grandfather, I'm a romantic partner, I'm loving, I'm forgiving. That's all my female side. I'm happy, I'm childlike, yet I'm also responsible. I carry the weight of a lot of weights around me that people are depending on me for. So I handle all that together. That's my male side, my female side. That's a lifetime of mastery.
Speaker 2:You know that's what we want to do is, every step of the way brings fulfillment, as long as we're moving in that direction. I'll just repeat that it's a great concept. Fulfillment happens not by driving at your goal, having the ideal. It's taking steps towards that, when you know what your goal is and you're taking steps towards that and you're not demanding like a child. I have to have it now. That's the point of my saying this Every step of the way in the right direction will give you maximum fulfillment. So I have maximum fulfillment, but I've had it all along the way, as I was not every moment. Okay, I'm not making this up. I mean, I suffered a lot in my life but I picked myself up and I suffered. When I lost all that income, I was like, oh my God, what the F am I going to do? And I said, all right, start writing down all the possibilities. Write it down Now, at other times when my wife would upset me.
Speaker 2:See, these are two different things. When the people you love upset you, now you need to process your emotions. Now, how do I do that? I don't talk about them, I write them out, I analyze them and you analyze. Okay, if I'm upset. Anytime you're feeling stress, you analyze inside of every moment of stress. Anytime you're not feeling optimistic and positive and fully alive and emotionally alive, okay, then that's emotionally feeling good, okay. When you don't have that, it's blocked. You're stressed. When you're stressed, there are blocked emotions and those blocked emotions are keeping the divine life force, energy, from flowing into you and causing the world to come to you. So you become like a magnet attracting things. You know, these are the manifestation.
Speaker 2:Meditations, is you? First you have to imagine okay, what is it I want, that's your meditation. You have to imagine, okay, what is it I want, that's your meditation. You have to say what am I wanting? Listening to yourself, okay, you want to kind of go inside. Okay, what do I want? What else do I want, without editing what I want, and then sort of find something in that place of what I want that's somewhat realistic. Okay, because really sometimes the only way you can really get in touch with what you really want is to have a bunch of unrealistic I wants. Just give yourself permission to I want, I want, I want. And now, ok, I'm settling on.
Speaker 2:What I want is a bestselling book. Ok, so I did this for eight years before Men of Mars took off. I want a bestselling book and I want people walking up to me and saying I read your book, it changed my life and I had some reality to that, because people would take my seminars and say it changed their lives. I'm just saying now that you read my book and changed their life and it's amazing. I love your book. I'm telling all my friends about it. So now I'm being in that imaginary state, all right, and then and a lot of people teach this but I'm in that state and then I imagine this is the next part of it.
Speaker 2:Then I imagine, okay, if people were saying that to me, how would it make me feel? That's the next step? Not just imagining it happened, then articulating Well, if that was happening, then I would feel successful, I will feel confident, I will feel worthy, I will feel happy, I will feel generous, I will want to feel my connection with the divine, I will have more time to do more of the things I want to do. And what would that look like? So you have to actually look at not just the change happening outside of you, but then go into how would that make me feel? And then, once you get in touch with how that makes me feel, then you go into an affirmation this is where affirmations really work, which is then how do I feel about me? Okay, so I affirm how I feel about me from that place of having gotten what I deserve. Then how does it make me feel?
Speaker 2:Then my affirmation about me is my favorite For years. Mine was I'm a strong, loving man. I deserve success. I'm a strong, loving man. I deserve to be loved the way I am. I'm a strong, loving man. I deserve to have my dreams come true. I'm at ease. Now my major affirmation is I'm at ease and comfortable in all situations, throughout the day and throughout the night. I'm at ease and comfortable in all situations. I make my dreams come true. I'm in the right place at the right time. I'm not alone and I'm needed in this world.
Speaker 2:So these are just affirmations about me, but those affirmations are really powerful after you've imagined getting what you want, how it would make you feel then affirming who you are and what you deserve. So that's the goal we want to go to and a lot of people are teaching some of that and that's good. But what makes it even better is when you first explore all of your resistance to having that happen. Okay, so, because that's a little bit of mood making unless you first look at how you're resisting that. So this is a little prayer that I do and then I activate the energy, the life force, energy to come through me and I believe in God and I think God is so important.
Speaker 2:However, you want to define God, the universal intelligence. If you just look at married couples, for example, in America, 80% of the people who get married believe in God. If you want to be with a woman who's happy, find a woman who believes in God. Why? Because God is. They can't define it, you don't know for sure. But whatever it is, you don't feel you're alone.
Speaker 2:When women don't feel that, when women feel alone in the world, their estrogen levels drop. And if they're with you and they don't have another source of support in their life, that's the almighty. They're helping them, supporting them in some way. Is there's this? It's an absence of a truth. You know there's a life force that keeps us alive. Watch somebody die, you can see they just turn into nothing in an instant. There's a divine energy, soul energy, life force, energy. So the key here is to feel it. Now, the more muscle mass you have means the more testosterone you have. Often that means you don't have a lot of estrogen. Sometimes it means you have plenty of estrogen. So it's all a matter of how much in touch with your female side you are, is how immediate you're going to be able to do this exercise, but it's a matter of feeling. Estrogen causes us to feel, so women have an easier time with this, but I want you to put your hands up. This is a meditation that I do, okay, so hands are up and now you've been listening to me for all this time, so already you're connected to me, anybody.
Speaker 2:The idea is that if you were to go and learn tennis from a tennis pro, there would be a natural automatic transmission of his ability to you. You would be able to play better tennis. I mean, this was my experience. My tennis coach said I should run for nationals. I was a state champion. He said no, you can be the best. I said only when I play with you. If I play with my friends, I'm not that great.
Speaker 2:So it's like you want to have you know somebody who has again this idea of having a mentor, somebody who's practices done this, and you know it's like you're talking about Demartini or who was it Dispenza?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's done some great stuff. He practices. So you just listen to him, you'll be inspired. So this is another meditation that what I focus on is, before you go to the higher states, you remove the negativity. So first you tune in to what you can access. So here's what it is. It's a little prayer. You can have your own, any prayer would work, but this is the one that I do. So do it with me and you'll get a little extra boost because you're connecting with me and I'm an expert on this. So the prayer is Dear God our hearts are open to you.
Speaker 2:Dear God my heart is open to you. Come fill me with your love and light, Fill me with your energy. So repeat that three times. Just be noticing your fingertips and your palms while you do it. Do it with me, Dear God my heart is open to you, please come Fill me with your love and light. And now you do that on your own three times.
Speaker 1:Dear God, my heart is open to you. Come fill me with your love and light. Dear God, my heart is open to you. Come fill me with your love and light. Dear God, my heart is open to you. Come fill me with your love and light.
Speaker 2:Now you notice anything in your fingertips, a little tangling energy or anything in your palms big time.
Speaker 1:Like my hands are going, like they'll go like numb isn't that great you're.
Speaker 2:So you're such a strong man and heartfelt. You know this amazing. So that's, you're activating the channels. That's what you're doing here Activating the channels in your body to receive energy. So we're going to allow that to continue with a few more phrases and then, just as you're pulling in energy and there'll be a greater sense of pulling it in, even now, you're feeling it. It's like a magnet drawing in the energy. Oh my God, you're feeling it. It's like a like you're a magnet drawing in the energy. Oh my god, you're just ready to go all the way through your body. I feel it in your legs, even amazing, because you're anchored in your body so you can pull that energy in. So now it's just, dear god, my heart is open to you. Please come, fill me with your love and light. Activate the energy channels.
Speaker 2:And now we're going to add another dimension to it. That's the energy. Energy needs to flow in a certain frequency. So the frequency has a lot to do with your intention, but it also has to do with where human beings were made out of earth, water, fire, air, space. So we're going to use the elements.
Speaker 2:You're going to just pick an element of it. It can be the earth, it can be water. It can be the earth. It can be water, it can be fire, it can be the air. That's why breathing exercise is so good is we're actually consciously using breath to connect with source. Or it can be space, but right now, let's just imagine the earth, the crystals in the earth. That's a frequency. We're going to use the crystals of the earth. So, in your imagination, just think about crystals, a frequency. We're going to use the crystals of the earth. So you, in your imagination, just think about crystals. And we're going to shift the hand movement from see how my hands are here and this anchors it into body. It's going to be a movement like this. Dear god, my heart is open to you. Arms out, come and then fill me with your love and light. This is intention.
Speaker 2:So, dear God, my heart is open to you what has happened to you and fill me with your love and light. Now, right when you're here, just feel the energy in your hands and the space between your palms. So see, I can even be like waking up in the morning and I don't have to think the prayer, I just do the movements. I mean, it's just the body knows you do those movements you anchor in, energy just starts to flow. Now the next move and you can feel that, right, it's like electricity. You got it right there. You're doing great, okay, yeah, and you can palpate as well, which makes it slow palpitation, and I'm going a little faster. But if you just slow it down, the whole thing about feeling the subtle energies is slowing everything down. Slow movement and then the next movement, this, that's four movements up out shoulder length and then hands together, then this hand, as you're putting your hands out. You'll see, in all traditions people make offerings. They put their hands out like that. So you're going to put the hands out like that and we're going going to put the hands out like that and we're going to make an offering. Now, the offering is the frequency. So come, my intent is to fill me with your love and light. Okay, so what frequency should it be? So we're using the earth frequency. So we're offering a crystal. Using this crystal, fill me with your love and light. Then you can also do using the. Using this crystal, fill me with your love and light. Then you can also do using the. I'm going to use the water element and I'm thinking of my swimming pool, which is right behind me up in the garden. You could be thinking of the ocean. Using the water of the ocean. Fill me with your love and light. And now it takes on a different character. If you're angry, for example, you could always go into use this fire. Fire is the most romantic one. It takes away all anger and makes safety. This is why you light candles can improve the bedroom activity using this fire. Take away, first of all, using this fire frequency. Fill me with your love and light. So that's what we're doing. If you're in India, you could spend eight hours where they just throw things into a fire. You know, using this frequency, the coconut, put it into the fire, put it into the fire, so it doesn't take a long, just using the fire frequency.
Speaker 2:Another one is using a rose. If it's actually healing energy, you want imagine a beautiful rose in front of you and you can also just have rose in front of you. You know I used to feel guilty. I'd go to flower shops and just suck all the energy through the flowers, but it really wasn't taking it away. I'm just using that frequency to receive the energy and it's a love energy. That's why when you get flowers of somebody you love, a woman, they just feel, they can feel that energy and their heart begins to open. Somebody's sick. You give them flowers because it has a healing frequency to it. It's a love frequency.
Speaker 2:So you have your hands out and now here's the movement. You can't really see it so much, but I want you to see it because it's very cool. It's like this, you go like that. So it's use the water frequency, use the crystal frequency, and then this movement is right now using this frequency. So right now, send your energy using the fire frequency, using the earth frequency, using the air frequency. So you put it into the moment. So there's a sense of completion. And if you have a sense of angels many people believe in angels, guardian angels, helping angels if you have a sense of that, you can just say right now, send your healing angels of love and light.
Speaker 1:So using this water frequency.
Speaker 2:Right now, using this water frequency, send your angels of love and light, and just gives it more of a personal feeling, even if you don't believe in angels. Just imagine, and it just gives a sense, that now your angels are here and they're filling you with love and light, healing energy, blessing you, filling you up right now. Can you see a shift in the energy? When you did that? It just makes it more concrete right now. And then you bring your hands back open, palms open, which is simply like now they're doing it for you.
Speaker 2:So it's an instance of flow and you just say thank you, thank you, god, and you just say thank you, and what you mean in thank you is you've just stacked six different intentions on top of each other. You basically thank you, god, god for coming and using this frequency in order to fill me with your love and light through your angels right now. But it's hard, it's long sentence to think, but basically you've gone through all those stages. Your thanks. Right now I'm receiving your energy and you sit in that space for a little while. That's a really nice space to be in, feeling the energy, and you do a. Now the body scan is feeling the energy in your fingertips and your palms Now, with your intention, with the help of the angels supporting you or directing that energy with your mind, let it now flow from your fingertips to your palms, to your elbows, there you did it.
Speaker 2:Now let it go up to your palms, to your elbows. There you did it. Now let it go up to your shoulders and now reflect back the energies coming in through your fingertips to your palms, to your elbows, to your shoulders. And now let it fill your chest and breathe into it. It's as if your whole chest is filling with light and tingling energy. You're having all the cells in your body vibrating in this natural frequency with divine energy, filling your chest with light and love. And now let it in, allow your belly to expand and your whole belly, your microbiome, all the organs in your belly are just tingling in this divine energy or imagining light in that space.
Speaker 2:This is called body scan. And then, once you activate the energy, you let it run through your body. Now you can do this. If I had more time, you can go through all of your organs People can look at an anatomy book and know what your heart looks like and just let your heart vibrate in that frequency your lungs, your liver, your digestive system, your intestines, your pancreas, your kidneys and to all the organs in your body. This is just very healing for your body, very soothing.
Speaker 2:And then let it go down to your knees, let it go down to your feet, ankles, sole of the feet, toes oh, you can do toes too. That's really good. The whole body. Now you bring the energy. Let it now direct it up the front of your legs to the knees, up to your hips and now to the base of the spine. And just give a little squeeze down there at the base of your spine, just to bring your attention there.
Speaker 2:A little squeeze and now allow the energy to flow up your spine, just a couple inches at a time, and another couple inches at a time, coming up up to where you're behind the navel, and you're just drawing an energy through your fingertips, through your body, up to the spine, behind the navel. And now let it go up from behind your, the center of your, up to your solar plexus and now let it come up to the center of your chest, your heart center, and sometimes you want to let it sit there for a little while and just think about people that you love and feel some love in your heart. I'll think about my granddaughter.
Speaker 2:It's so easy to love little children, that is so pure that is so pure and in your heart, quietly saying I love you, I'm here for you, I care about you. And then to your wife or your girlfriend, people in your life who need your help, send them love and gratitude and happiness and joy. And then let it go up to your throat and now the back of the brain. And now go to the center of the brain, towards the forehead and to the forehead. It's filling your brain with light and tingling energy, a sensation of maybe heaviness or lightness or expansion. Then, from the middle of the brain, go to the top of the head. This is called body scan.
Speaker 2:You're just taking a few extra minutes to let that energy consciously flow through your body. It's already flowing through your body. You're just becoming aware of it. What you become aware of increases. And now let it go back down to your forehead. Notice your tongue is naturally going to the top of the roof of the mouth. The ideal spot in the tongue and the mouth at this point is if you were to say the words 19. The ideal spot in the tongue and the mouth at this point is if you were to say the words 19. And naturally rest at the magic spot which brings the energy down into the throat, to the heart to the solar plexus to the belly, to the base of the spine.
Speaker 2:So you've successfully brought the energy all the way up and back down and now let it go back up and go back down, up and down, until you're simultaneously going up and down at the same time, and that's flow state. So you just generate a flow state, your body gets healthier, that this energy has its own intelligence, but we need to just ask for that help and do what needs to be done to fill us with love and light, healing energy, making us a magnet for success, whatever you're wanting to be radiating out. But once we get a nice flow going, that's the activation of what awful people call the kundalini energy. Now we're going to bring it up to the second energy center and that's the energy center of sensation of energy. And what we're going to do is notice any blocked energy that you have. Now, if you're very physical, you can just notice any tension you have and imagine sending that tension is just blocked energy. Send that tension out through your fingertips into the water or into the flower or into the earth or into the beautiful space. Imagine energy flowing out your fingertips, kind of like rays going out, but these rays are just black smoke sending it out and people go oh, I don't want to send that out into nature. But nature, like we, breathe that out carbon dioxide and nature loves it and puts out oxygen for us. So, like a child crying, the mother holds the child, mother, nature, all those elements will take away the beautiful frequencies. You can just send the negativity out of you and this is where you do a little scan of your negative emotions. See, most spiritual people don't want to look at negative emotions. But I mentioned that all these ancient techniques were to trigger negative emotions in people and then not act on them. So all we're doing now is we're offering up, we're letting go on them. So all we're doing now is we're offering up, we're letting go, sending out and the energy that's blocked. So when our energy of love is blocked, we feel angry. When our energy of happiness and joy is blocked, we feel sadness and disappointment. When the energy of love is blocked as well, we have fear, trust we don't trust, and then we also have the energy of regret. We feel not good enough, we feel shame. So, just for the sake of this exercise, if you were not stressed, you wouldn't feel the need to do this. But I want everybody to experience how powerful this is and something you can do at home as well, even if you're feeling really good.
Speaker 2:Go back in time to a time where you felt guilty or ashamed or you felt failure. Everybody wants to ignore those things. But actually going back to those moments of trauma where you were betrayed or you felt deprived, or you feel hurt or you feel scared, go back to a time where you felt scared, afraid, just right now, asking God, using this frequency the earth, the air, the water, the fire to take away the blocked energy of that old fear. Take it away and see, that's what was happening to the Beatles when they had so much anxiety. There was so much love at them. That energy was happening to the beetles when they had so much anxiety. There was so much love at them. That energy was coming to him and it pushed against the blocks which caused, brought up the unresolved fears from childhood.
Speaker 2:A feeling do I deserve it? Can I do it? Am I good enough? Will it ever happen?
Speaker 2:And as young men, we all have those fears. We haven't yet defined ourselves, we haven't proved ourselves and what we're here for, what, what our mission is. So give yourself permission just to feel powerless for a moment, feel afraid. I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. I don't know what my future is going to look like. Feel disappointed. I tried this. It didn't work. We all have disappointments, we all have frustrations, frustrated.
Speaker 2:Right now, in my life, what's going on, what's not exactly happening the way you want. See, this is taking a few minutes to dwell on negativity and look for it, just like in a moment we're going to look for our positive things. That's how we manifest life. We focus on the positive, but first we focus on the truth, which is there's also negativity. To avoid negativity is to ignore your power, because behind all that negativity, if you let it go, is more power, more energy, more life force. So, just taking that moment to feel some particular emotion. I'm going to let myself go back in this moment to when that shock happened and suddenly I lost this ton of money that normally I get every month. I get my payments and so forth from investments I've made. It was cut off temporarily.
Speaker 2:So what I was feeling is afraid. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm afraid, I'm scared. I won't be able to pay those bills, I won't be able to help my children. I'm not sure what I'm going to be able to do. I'm afraid. So the key is to identify. I am, I put an emotion behind it. I'm afraid. I'm scared. Now, take away this fear. Take away this fear. Is my intention? Using the water. Take away the fear Using the fire. Take away my anger. I let it go. So I'm not acting on it, I'm not going to dwell on it, I'm just becoming aware of any negativity inside of me and let it go. And experience is a flow of energy going out. Now, corey, are you able to feel the energy going out from your fingertips? Can you get a sense of that?
Speaker 2:yes, that's the key is keep noticing yeah, oh, now you're sending it around. Okay, so you're sending the energy out. Okay, now the next thing that's step two. One was step one is the waking of the kundalini energy. Energy is flowing and now you look at, okay, what keeps that energy from flowing more is blocks.
Speaker 2:So old, stale energy, procrastinated energy, angry energy, fear energy, shame energy, whatever it can be, it's always. That's what. Anytime you're not feeling great, it's because there's some suppressed emotion. This, it's not yet being released. Okay, so we just let that energy flow out. And now, just as we can send energy out, we can pull that energy back down because now back in, there's more space inside. So it's as if you're sucking the energy in like from a straw and you're sucking in. So you're pulling that energy back now with desire.
Speaker 2:Desire is actually what I want is what you don't have. So you're feeling the lack in a sense. So you're feeling what you want. So this is the basis of all manifestation is feeling strong desire. What I want is the negative energy out. I can pull back more energy, and this time you're pulling back positive energy. You're recharging your system. You emptied out any stuck old energy. You're pulling in positive energy and what pulls it in, is feeling desire. So, as you're pulling the energy and begin noticing inside, what do you want? I want strength I want. I want confidence. I want success. I want more success in my life For me. I want more people to read my books. I want people to acknowledge me. I want people to get benefit from my work. I want to help all my clients and I do this every day. I think about all my clients and I send energy to them, after I first let it go of any of my fears. I look for something. I'm frustrated, I'm angry or whatever. It's just temporary, just looking at it. And if I don't have anything to look at, I go back to a time in my past where I can remember a time that was painful or difficult and I send that negative energy out for a little while. And now I feel what I want. What I want is for success. I feel what I want, what I want is for success. I want my clients to all get better. I want their relationships to be happier.
Speaker 2:I want people to hear this podcast and have their lives be changed. Give them inspiration, give them support, and I'm just pulling in the energy to do that. Just pulling in. That's called recharging. So I'm just recharging Now. That's pulling energy in is recharging.
Speaker 2:That's good enough meditation, but we want to manifest, so we can. Now we're pulling the energy in and now imagine you're pulling. As you're pulling energy in, you're going to send energy back out. And that's sending energy back out as you're, you're literally sending energy into the universe to give form, to fill the form of what you want to happen. So imagine seeing what you want to happen now. This is your sending this energy. You're pulling in this fresh energy, this energy of manifestation, and now you're sending that energy out, as if to create what it is you want to happen. So see what you want to happen, feel it, imagine it. It don't get caught up in having to see some people. Don't see some people. Just imagine that's just as good. And imagine what you want as if it's really happening now. So you're channeling this energy out into the world as if it's happening now. You're creating the foundation for it to happen by imagining what would it look like, what would it be like? You know, like the plans of a building or house. You know where am I going to put this, where am I going to put this? And just imagine you're doing it now.
Speaker 2:People are responding to you. You're getting the reactions and the support. You want more people to see your podcast. You're already seeing the numbers going up. You know that excitement that you feel when numbers start going up. You're being heard, you're being seen, you're being valued, you're being appreciated.
Speaker 2:So, as you see what you want to happen, imagine it happening in my marriage. I see my wife so happy to see me, my wife being in the mood for sex, reaching forward to me when wake up in the morning, wanting to have sex with me. She's so so much wants to connect with me and love me so much. So you can do that for a relationship. I can do it for my children. I see them being accepted into college and they're, you know, feeling confident in themselves. I see them as proud and confident and capable and feeling inspired. So that's called creating a picture of it, as you're sending energy into that, increasing your ability to imagine what you want to happen.
Speaker 2:Now, just as you're sending energy out, pull the energy back in, and this time is imagining pulling it back. As you pull it back, imagine it coming in and going back out and coming in. This is circulating, circulating backwards into you. So you're making this circle of energy going out and coming back in and going out and coming back in. That's a circulating of energy into you with the feeling of how does this success make me feel? Imagine it's happened, it's done. I see my children feeling that way. I see my own life, my own success being achieved, my bank account's going up, it's full. I feel satisfied, I feel proud, I feel content, I feel glad, I feel motivated, I feel at ease and comfortable. At ease, comfortable, I'm proud, happy, successful, loving. How does it make you feel I feel good enough, I feel confident, I feel at ease. So that's the circling back.
Speaker 2:And now bring the energy up into the third eye, to the forehead, and have the circle go out like radiant light going out, coming back in radiant light, going out, coming back in radiant light. Going out, coming back in radiant light. Going out, coming back in radiant light, going out, coming back in. And what this is is sending the energy out, coming back in. You're just going into flow state and what you want is happening. You're in that state. It's flow, it's effortless, it's circling out, coming back in Energy. You're putting out into the world. It's all coming back in. You're getting a standing ovation. The world is responding to you, going out, coming back in, going out.
Speaker 2:Imagine your mind, your head filling with light, filled with light. And now let it go to the top of the head with another awareness that I'm resonating right now with nature. The universe is all responding to me. I'm resonating with it, I'm becoming one with it, I am one with having achieved my goals. How that will feel and that's the affirmation you can affirm I'm at ease and comfortable.
Speaker 2:Throughout the day, throughout the night, the universe responds to my wishes and wants. I respond to the wishes of the universe. I am in harmony with the universe, I am at ease and comfortable, I'm healthy, I'm strong, I'm loving. I'm healthy, I am strong, I am loving, I am forgiving, I am happy. All the I am's, as you feel that energy coming all the way from the base of your spine to the top of your head and your whole energy field is filled with light and love.
Speaker 2:And just for fun, we'll do a little bit more. There's more levels to this. Now you're going to bring the energy back down and the way you do that is the energy is spinning like a halo over your head. Allow that halo to expand and, like a needle of golden imagination, spinning around above your head, around your ears, coming down to your shoulders, spinning a golden white ball of light coming down to your chest level, spinning ball of light. You're in that cocoon of light. It's spinning around you, it's coming around your solar plexus, coming around your hips, all the way down around you to your knees. Imagine yourself floating in space in this beautiful ball of golden white light surrounding you. A cocoon of light. Your energy field radiant light, all the way down to your knees to your ankles to your feet, to two feet below, spinning ball of light.
Speaker 2:As it spins, it creates a magnetic pull and pulls energy in from above, like liquid light, liquid love, liquid success coming to you, filling you up. So it'll be like pouring down and now, when you pour it, you have big cocoon of light. You pour energy down. It's now at your feet and it's beginning to rise up and that's called accumulating energy. You're increasing the flow of energy. By spinning this cocoon, more energy can come in, coming in from above, comes down and begins to collect.
Speaker 2:As it fills you up, you're accumulating light and love energy. You're accumulating all this positive light energy filling you up all the way up to your waist, to your solar plexus, to your heart. It's all around you, it's your field. Imagine that field expanding as it goes up, it expands out further, it goes higher and higher and higher. To your forehead, to your head. It's like you're underwater in golden white light as it goes two feet above and just feel yourself expanding out and feeling the space, the whole room. You're this cocoon of light that your cocoon is now expanding to include the whole space of the room you're in your arms. Go all the way out and it expands out to conclude of the room you're in your arms, go all the way out. And it expands out to conclude the home that you're in, the apartment building, whatever it is all within you, and you're one with that force that includes everything, as it expands out over your city, your town, your province Since you're in Australia, we're all in australia, together with you, expanding out over that, going up to, down to the south pole, coming up to malaysia and china, all of asia, expanding out over russia, europe, going expanding out over africa and, if you've been to some of these places, which I know, you're a big traveler just to put yourself in those places.
Speaker 2:That's all inside of you as you expand out like a big balloon just being blown up, expanding out further and further to North America, east coast, west coast, south America, all the way down the whole world within you, all of the whole beautiful planet. As your awareness expands out further, because you are one with that, which includes everything, expanding out to planet Earth towards the sun, go to Venus and Mercury, all the planets, saturn, neptune, jupiter, pluto, whole solar system. You're expanding out. This is just expanding out exercise, letting yourself just go out further and further into the stars, to the galaxy, going out to be that awareness, that intelligence. You're one with that which is the source of all, to the galaxy, and then to the space between galaxies, to clusters of galaxies, to infinity. And just be one with that, allow yourself to dissolve into that to a sense of no self and now bring it all back in.
Speaker 2:Come on back to earth, come on back to this room, come on back to feeling the oneness with that which is out and that which is within. We feel that we are the embodiments of that, we dissolve into that and we are one with the source of all our desires, the source of all our power, the source of all our love, the source of all our power, the source of all our love. It's all within us. We feel that we're here in this world to make our dreams come true. Our desires, the pure desires of our soul, are right now in the process of manifesting into our life. And we give thanks, feel peace and you can rub your hands together. I did that a little longer than I normally do, but you asked for it, so I gave you a really nice meditation doesn't have to be that long, but I wanted to explain my way through it.
Speaker 2:And you know, there is this thing called Instagram and those of you that I do a meditation every Wednesday at 7 am, california time, that same variation of that meditation every Wednesday at 7 am, and there are recordings. It's a website called Soul Search, soul Search on Instagram and they have they record all my meditations. They're available for people, they're free. But before we end, corey, how did that go? Did you have a good meditation?
Speaker 1:That was pretty intense, not gonna lie. Like I do a lot of energy healing and stuff as well, so like I go see you, oh, that's why you felt the energy so good.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It was, yeah, it was intense, I'm not gonna lie. Like I was, like it was a couple of times there, like I was, I just wasn't even in the room, like you were talking and I wasn't, I wasn't exactly here. I was like, oh, that's right, I'm doing a podcast with John, that's right.
Speaker 1:That's right I was like Whoa, so it's like that. Like brought me back a couple of times. It was really cool. I was a little little bit cloudy around the picture but I just sort of uh what I wanted. But I just kind of allowed those feelings.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let it be whatever comes up and go with the flow of it. It's all looking inside, looking outside, all bringing it to oneness. But that's a longer meditation. There's the shorter meditation that people can do every day. If they just want to do a short meditation, it's. Dear God, my heart is open to you. Please come, fill me with your love and light. Use this water, use these flowers, use this crystal and send your angels right now and fill me with your light and just feel that energy flowing in your body and do the body scan. Let it just fill you up with that and then think what do I want and imagine having it and be grateful. You can do all kinds of variations with that, but I just wanted to cover all the pieces you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my eyes are glassy. I don't know if you can like see that, but like my eyes are glassy.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you can like see that, but like my eyes are glassy after that like, yeah, I definitely, we went on a journey, we went.
Speaker 1:I was in a space. Yeah, I was in. Did you feel connected to me with that? Because you were hitting me like I was. I felt totally connected to you.
Speaker 2:That's how I paced it how much you could what you were doing it's a wonderful experience of oneness.
Speaker 2:It's easy to get to it because we had a whole hour conversation before that, and so it was interesting to connect in that. I really enjoyed doing that with you, and I'm sure your guys will to various degrees. And so the idea of energy healing is when you're doing energy healing, a lot of people just send energy in, but you can use your fingertips and what you can do is you have some flowers and you suck the energy out from the back of the neck, just take away any of their pain and their suffering, just give words to it, and a person has to say, well, I'm sad about this, I'm angry about this, or I feel pain, describe the pain and your fingers will just light up and they'll burn. But you want to make sure, as you're sucking the energy out through your fingertips, you're directing it into something in nature. A lot of energy healers end up taking on stuff from people, and so you want to be pulling and sending at the same time, and we're never going to be perfect at this.
Speaker 2:So whenever I do energy healing, I always take some time to just decharge, which is to make sure my system is clean and clear of any person's energy. So I'll just send that in. I'll feel it the energy of that person. I'll just send that in. I'll feel it, the energy of that person. I'll just on my own afterwards I'll just take some time to send it into the water. Water's very purifying and my favorite time to meditate is taking a shower, because you're right there, using this water, cleanse my soul, take away any negativity, and if you don't want to do all the emotional work, if you're not feeling the emotions, you, and if you don't want to do all the emotional work, if you're not feeling the emotions, you don't need to do it. You can just say send any blocked energy out and just have that experience of feeling energy going out, then energy coming in, then energy coming out coming, and then having a cocoon around you and let it fill up, let it accumulate and let it expand.
Speaker 1:It's a great meditation. It's one of my favorite ones. It was wonderful. It was fantastic. The best thing that I thought about that was actually sending things out and back in at the same time. That was the most revolutionary part for me, because I was like I can one because I'm still I can do this, like I can feel it. My mind was in two. I was like I can one because I'm still, I can do this like I can feel it, my mind was in two.
Speaker 2:It was like wow yeah, that's that, that's what's you know. If you know the hindu terms for meditation, you have, uh, three basic things which is it's called dharana, which is focus. Okay, you have your intent. And then there's dhyan, which is you start repeating it, it creates a flow. And then there's Samadhi, where you're doing Dhyan and Dharana at the same time, which is it's happening simultaneously, and that's the state of it.
Speaker 2:And then the next one is called Sanyama and that's where you're doing all three at the same time. So it's pretty much this flow and you're aware of all three at the same time, which you're doing all three at the same time. So it's pretty much this low and you're you're aware of all three at the same time, uh, which you were doing. You know we were doing all those levels and and then you go through others. We went through several other shifts that we went through the expansion, which is my I just love being expanded, I feel so one with everything, and then the dissolving, which you did very well. You know the. The paradox here is everyone's self-realization, and you'll have a lot of gurus and teachers that go, yes, I'm one with God, I'm one with the universe and I'm in bliss. That's a state. But there's a state after that, which is now that I'm one with everything, everything's inside of me and I'm inside of it. Then there's no me. Ok, it's the no self state. That's actually a very advanced state, which is that's when you were dissolving into the universe, dissolving, and then you don't exist. That's actually the other self shows up. You know, if you read the book Sink and Grow Rich, some of his other books he talks about this other self that he experiences, that guides him and that's the source. It feels like it's coming from behind only because generally, our awareness is going front. But when you get 360 degree awareness, what stands out is this feeling of a space behind you, and he would call that the other self which is guiding him, but not the me self. So that's that sense of selflessness and, ultimately, whether we're practicing meditation, to whatever degree, we have clarity there. Just keep working at it. But it's in our marriages, when you're taking care of your partner and you're making their needs more important than your own and you're making their feelings more important than you.
Speaker 2:Expressing your feelings. That's the key. Don't express positive feelings, express negative emotions. Contain, don't let them control you. But you can. You can do something to produce testosterone that will make them go away, and that's good. And if they don't go away, that just means you're sort of more enlightened, you have more, more connection between your male and female side. Then what you do is you analyze them and just to put a shine, attention on why I don't need to hold on to them.
Speaker 2:Or you do this meditation. We just say take away my anger, take away my sadness. What that is is the highest spiritual teaching, which is forgive. Forgiveness is just taking away, not holding on to my anger. I'm not holding on to my fear, I'm just going to let it go. I still remember what happened. So I have to be realistic.
Speaker 2:If you just ripped me off of all my money, I need to like not do business with you again unless I think like, well, you've learned your lesson, I've learned you just listen to your guidance inside. But guidance comes once you dispel sending that negative energy out. And you really got it. You know, being able to simultaneously send it out, bring it back in, that's the power. That's the power you know. Yeah, that was nice and I want to give you another breathing technique that I do, uh, because you like the breathing technique.
Speaker 2:There's another one and I wish I had more time to do it with you, but you'll see when you practice it. Just do a breath in, like a count of five or six, just a nice breath in, count of five or six, and then do a nice breath exhaling of five or six. So you got a nice little rhythm going five or six. Then you go breathe in five or six. I like to just breathe in five, it might be six, and then on the exhale, you're setting your attention each time to go exhale a little bit longer.
Speaker 2:So if I did six in, I'm going to go seven out, I'm going to do six in, I'm going to do eight out, I'm going to do six in, I'm going to do nine out, I'm going to do six, five in, I'm going to do 10 out, and I'll go all the way up, as far as you can go effortlessly. Then you'll have to go in a little deeper and then you start over. I'm gonna go all the way. I'm just gonna add another number to it and tell you know, what's great is, if you can actually be walking up a hill and breathe out 32, you'll feel so energized. You see, you just feel like you're pumping in so much oxygen because the more you can breathe out, the more your body can assimilate all the oxygen you need. Just on a five and inhale.
Speaker 1:Does that make you?
Speaker 2:better. Say that again.
Speaker 1:The breathe out. That's what makes you better at sex, doesn't it for men? Better at everything, better at everything yeah.
Speaker 2:But what happens in dilation is your excitement gets to a certain point, your sympathetic nervous system becomes too dominant over to the parasympathetic. Parasympathetic, normal is relaxed and enjoying I'm in the flow, right and then sympathetic is okay, we're running a race, so it's all being exciting, exciting. So if you breathe out, okay that's. But you want to practice this at other times, so your body just knows how to do this. You can't just practice it. The problem is in sex. You don't want to practice things in sex. Well, you want to all be natural. But so you train natural by doing this thing where you can. You're. It's amazing what will happen when you can start breathing out 15, 16, 21, 25, 31, I do 80. You know I can do a long exhale until I can just do no inhale. I can just sit there for hours. But this is that deep meditation. I immediately go into breathlessness. But you also want to train your body with actually breathing out longer. And breathing out longer and you'll feel it, your body will just respond with muscle contractions and in order to squeeze that carbon dioxide out of the belly, it will just start. You'll see, it's just. Your body responds to you. It's like it has its power because you set the intention each time. I'm going to breathe in around four or five or five and maybe six, but generally five. I breathe in a count of five and I'm going to exhale. The next time I'm going to exhale one time more. It counts as six, count to eight, count to nine, count to ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen and you think at 14 I can't do it longer, but you just say just one more. The whole key is I can do just one more and the next time you can do one more. Just like in the gym, you can only do so much and then your body next time can come back and do more. So it's so amazing to see how your body can absorb oxygen better because of you. He's just setting your intention and then then, when you're walking, you can practice it. When you're walking is you're breathing in five, you're breathing out six, then you're breathing out seven, then you're breathing out eight, then you're bringing out nine. And so what happens? Without having to do vigorous exercise, I produce endorphins and I end up having more energy just by doing walking. And then I test myself by walking up hills as well. That's harder. It's harder to have a long exhale when you're walking up a hill.
Speaker 2:But it's again training your body to absorb oxygen more efficiently, as opposed to if you do Wim Hof message, which is a wonderful exercise you're just flooding your body with oxygen. This is an exercise to make your cells super efficient in absorbing oxygen because you're so good at releasing carbon dioxide, because when you release carbon dioxide there's a more efficient exchange of oxygen into your cells. So it's efficiency and getting oxygen to where, in a deep, meditative state, that energy becomes like oxygen. Just be in that state with no breath at all because you're so efficient in absorbing oxygen. Now I've tested it when I can be in a breathless state for hours.
Speaker 2:But if I get underwater, what I notice is that what's happening is there's this, this almost infinitely fast little bubble that happens. My brain is absorbing oxygen where the body's in a suspended state. There's no way I could breathe that fast, but you can't even tell. But if you get underwater you'll see at the surface of water it's like bubbling, real, real, real fast. But you don't notice because you got to get oxygen to your brain. But it's a very subtle oxygen going in.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:So that's culture. That's just doing the breathing exercise will help you get to that place of long exhales where you can. You know I can exhale. I think I count to 100 on my exhales, but not while I'm walking up a hill. You know it's good.
Speaker 1:Challenge accepted. John, let's go.
Speaker 2:And what you'll see is it's your intention, your body will allow you to change itself, it will configure this thing. So what you're noticing, even on that, that count of five coming in, because when you exhale long, you're going to take a big exhale. But what happens if you slowly build it on the inhale? You're not even pulling it into your chest, you're pulling into your belly. It's just pure belly breathing. It's diaphragm. Your diaphragm gets really strong. The stronger it is, the more slowly it can release the air. See, that's the whole thing is your body is slowly releasing the air, which gives you huge control in sex as well. But it's just about life is being able to be in the parasympathetic state while you're also coming in on your sympathetic but not overreacting. They're super sympathetic anyway, such fun. Thanks talking with you, cory. Thank you so much. Next time, next time, we'll talk about men how they can use protein, pre-digested protein, through incubation in order to lose belly fat, because having belly fat as you get older is another obstacle to producing healthy testosterone levels for your body.
Speaker 1:I'm really excited to understand what that looks like as well, Because I just think for general absorption of protein that's really powerful. So thanks for putting that on. I'm super excited to talk about that and thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're very welcome.
Speaker 1:Talk to you later. Thank you, John. Enjoy the rest of your day.