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Corey Boutwell Podcast
Why Your Why Matters... #255
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If you’re new to my page my name’s Corey Boutwell. I’m the founder and CEO of men’s personal development company Set The Standard. I’m a professional bodybuilder, I have coached over 300 men to their full potential and created a multi six figure business in just 3 years. This podcast is where I share EVERYTHING I learn along the way.
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What's up. I'm going to walk you through my process of how to stick to a diet when I feel like I don't want to. So there's a couple of things that come into play when you really want to stick to something. And it's the first to know that the plan has nothing to do with it, because you can get a plan from anyone. You can buy a plan in regards to a diet, you can go to ChatGPT, you can plug one in, you can go to Chronometer or MyFitnessPal and you can go and plug everything in and sometimes it's just not going to work.
Speaker 1:So when I very first started getting into health and fitness and competing in bodybuilding shows, I had a lot of people reach out. Hey, man, can you write me a program, can you write me a routine? And I never wanted to be a PT, I didn't want to go and get into gyms and gyms and blah, blah, blah, blah. So when people reached out, just for a couple of select few people, I would make them programs and I'd build them out and I'd send them to people. And I just noticed I was like only two people out of probably like 15 people that I worked with when I was younger would actually stick to the program and I was like, wow, why is this? And it kind of got me absolutely fascinated because I was like, well, the only thing that's going to help someone progress and move forward has nothing to do with the program, it's them getting clear on why they should be sticking to something, which is really important. So there's actually, I did some research and studies show that if you want to to to stick to something over a long period of time, there has to be intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation comes from you, know, know, knowing like your goal, why you want to do it, and then feeling like you have the confidence and it's challenging enough to get there, um, mixed with or times by understanding your own identity, because if you believe yourself as someone is, oh, you know, maybe sometime, maybe another day, or you know when I, when I feel ready, I'll commit to something. And if you're someone like that, and then it's not the diet, the plan again, it's going to be you working on yourself and your mindset and your heart and getting clear on who you want to become in order to be able to stick to something.
Speaker 1:So what I did for me was I kind of mapped out my own hero's journey. And the hero's journey is essentially you have this call to adventure, you meet a guide who then takes you into an unknown world. Right, this is like the hero's journey, sort of like um, if you've seen the hobbit, lord of rings, harry potter, anything like that, any sort of really awesome story, they're only for the hero's journey. So you meet a guide, then they take you to this world that you don't know, so this new, magical, mystical world. It's sort of like when harry goes into har Harry Potter, and then you've got like some trials and tribulations and you've got to face, and then you've got to meet with temptation. Then you have to face off with your own ego and then, once you face off with your own ego, you get some skills that you can start to use and bring back to the world. And when you do and you can bring them back, it's like that's when you become a person who is respected and you become proud of yourself and you feel a lot more authentic.
Speaker 1:So for me, when I wanted to get clear in this, I was like, okay, who, who do I want to become? I just had this vision of myself 10 years. It's like 10 year vision, like what do I look like in that stage and I was like cool, I've got a really strong physique, I'm muscly, I'm lean, I'm dressed really well, I am chasing my purpose, I'm chasing my passion. And I went and figured out. It took the time to think okay, if I want to be that person, what does that person do now? Okay, so they involve themselves in a lot of delay gratification, meaning they eat healthy, they get up early, they go to the gym five, six times a week, they go through mobility practices and train mobility so that they don't get injured. I was like because you don't want to be standing there looking fit as hell, but then like having to crank to the side because you're like, ah, I'm so injured, right. So just understanding that one thing, that one little tip, helped me go okay, that's who I'm going to be, I don't care anything else. And then I had to get really clear on how to say no to people. So what happens is I remember when I was living in a different state before I moved to Queensland was I had birthday parties.
Speaker 1:I had grandparents' birthday parties. There was an event every single weekend get together at a wedding. And this thing and that thing. I was like man. This is so challenging to try to stick to something because I have to say no all the time, and I had this fear of rejection in myself. I was like I can't stick to this because if I say no then I'm offending someone else. If I tell someone else that I can't make it, or some life circumstances happen for me and I can't be there and I really have to look after myself and my own energy right now, they're never going to be able to do it. So I remember feeling so guilty when I had my sister's wedding, I had a best friend's 21st, I had all these different kind of milestone events right For other people where I had to bring my meal prep and I wasn't drinking and I had to say no to everyone.
Speaker 1:I remember saying no, no, no, no. I remember getting used to it was good, but at the same time I just felt so much guilt. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry and I like friends weddings. I remember this one time I had to leave early for my friend's wedding Cause I was starting to get ready, getting planned and I had to leave early and I wasn't drinking and his partner was really upset that I was leaving and she was like, oh, he wouldn't leave on your wedding and I was like he wouldn't, no, he wouldn't. But we have different goals for who we want to be.
Speaker 1:Now this is getting into the like a little bit of the extremes, um, because when I was competing, like, you have to follow everything to a t, otherwise you're going to get on stage. It's not like you can drag the time out. Whatever it is, you're going to be embarrassed, and I didn't want to be embarrassed. So that's. Another one is learning how to say no. So it's changing identity. Know how to say no.
Speaker 1:Then I wanted to know why, right? So I wanted to get rid of the fear part in my brain. You can deactivate the fear part in your brain when you get clear on why. Essentially, it was like why I have that? Well, I had. I gave myself some positive reasons, right? So one reason why for me was I wanted to have the confidence to talk to women, right? Confidence with the opposite sex. Definitely it makes you look sexy. Having a strong physique, strong, lean body is sex appeal and confidence. Another one is I wanted to walk into any room and be the man that can just bang, get respect. I respect you and I trust you because of your physique.
Speaker 1:And then I wanted men to come up to me Holy shit, you're on steroids. Have you ever taken steroids? No, never taken steroid. I wanted to have that reaction and I get that and immediately that I say that they go holy shit, this guy's been disciplined and consistent for a long period of time and I say yes, absolutely. I also wanted to build a physique where I, when I could get it lean, it was so well balanced in proportion that when someone looked at me they went holy shit, you look like Superman.
Speaker 1:So younger men or men who don't have physiques like me look up to me when they see me, and I have had that from men of all different ages, older than me, younger than me. I've had my mentors look at me like that. I've had mentors project onto me being like you know, oh, I don't need muscles, all this stuff, and I'm like it's a part of who I am. I'm not going to get rid of this and there's no sort of ego attached to it. It was like this is my highest form of self-love and self-respect.
Speaker 1:I also know that the internal confidence and the discipline learned from training I wanted to have that love for myself to know that if I can do this, I can do anything. So I created remember creating this hierarchy when I first created, set the standard and on the hierarchy, the very first thing in the layer of foundation at the bottom is it's like, essentially, the stronger the foundation, the taller the hierarchy you can get, and it's physical and mental well-being. So with physical, mental well-being, it's not just I, I look, I'm not injured and I'm not injured, I'm not depressed. It's how fit can I get, how can I upgrade my nutrition in my brain to the highest capacity with, you know, the healthiest physique possible? That's going to give me the best chance to work on my own mental health, because you look and you feel good and you're in shape, without steroids, without attaching any of your worth to the gym, because there's some negative things if you go too far down that rabbit hole.
Speaker 1:And then I start working on my mind Okay, meditation, journaling, clarity of goals, clarity of who I want to be. What do I need to do daily to stretch myself to? What do I need to do daily to stretch myself, to get out of my comfort zone, so that I'm used to having to go? Insert some confidence, insert some confidence right. So these are all things that if you're not getting coached on in your personal training in any health or fitness program that you're doing is it's not going to work. Like this is the mindset stuff and the clarity of the goals, the clarity of getting the reasons why, because if you don't have any reason why you're not going to stick to something, I'll have that chocolate, I'll have this thing. I won't train today. On the weekend, I'll go out and I'll party and I'll gamble and I'll talk to women and I'll stay up late all night just scrolling and partying and drinking and whatever it is. Those temptations become so much easier when you're not sure of who you want to be.
Speaker 1:It's crazy because I coach a lot of men and what I see is that men who get locked in and they learn how to say no, their clarity of plan and they know what they're doing with their week and their routine, because they've journaled and they want their physique to be in peak condition and their mind to be in peak condition, is they're unstoppable. Like you talk to those guys and they're completely unstoppable. They're like, yeah, I'm on a roll, I'm doing this, I'm doing this, and they're unstoppable until comes crashing down till they change their environment, they change their routine. Something challenging happened, something challenging happens to them and they sort of just start kind of come crashing down like this, and then there's one thing after the next and they spiral down. Then you have to go and lift them back up and men always think, oh, I need to do this thing by myself, I need to do this, blah, blah, blah. But you know that's what men's groups and communities are for, so that you can hold that for a long period of time and make sure that that doesn't happen.
Speaker 1:Because for some people, if you've got a business, you've got a partner, you've got a marriage. It's like your marriage can end if you're not on the ball. Your business can fail. If you're not on the ball, you're not taking any risks. You know, if you're not growing, you're dying, right.
Speaker 1:So what can happen is if people aren't having high maintenance on this, with their discipline and their confidence, and things start going down. You notice everything starts going down. And that's when you notice people who are overworking, they're overst, sacrifice. What happens? It all turns to shit. Right, it all turns to shit.
Speaker 1:They sacrifice everything for so long they go oh, they go binging. And then they start realizing holy hell, I need to get my physique in order. They go get their blood tests. They go get everything done and they go. Holy hell, I've got these conditions. My body isn't where I like. I look in the mirror and I feel depressed. I put these clothes on. They don't fit as well as I used to. I can't be bothered doing this thing. I haven't got enough energy to do this, and that's because they haven't respected themselves for a long enough period of time. Right, they've lost that for a while. And then they go oh, I'm going to try to get it back. I'm going to do what I used to do. Does not work anymore. So what can they do? They have to do something new. They have to meet new people, join another program, do something else.
Speaker 1:But what I think is most important is doing this work right. You got to do this, this mindset work and this heart work of getting clear on. You know why you want to. You want to get clear on your identity and you want to make sure that you're held accountable. But you also have more reasons why you want to stick to something, because the second, if you have a reason not to stick to it and you don't have enough reasons why you're going to do it every time. It's just complete human nature. So these are some of the things that we are teaching in our new course, like our new program that we've got in, set the standard that's being built out. So, if you're listening to, this probably already been built out. You can come and join, set the Standard and do the program. But we include all of this with everything else, as long as with the diets and the meal plans, with the training, with the routine organization, with the accountability, with the kick in ass, with everything right and you can come and join and learn these skills and techniques.
Speaker 1:If you click the link below, there'll be like on the podcast around here. You can come to my masterclass, ask me a bunch of questions. It's a live masterclass and you can see what it's all about. I'll run you through a shot, but I'll also live on that masterclass. I'll break through some of your limiting beliefs, wherever your mindset is or whatever you're thinking. I'll like break through those. So you go. Holy hell, corey, this is so good. I'm super excited. You probably ads around this before, but I just want to share this with you guys because it's so critically important and a lot of people miss out on this key, key component I want to teach you guys for free, because it's something that I've learned and it's helped me stay so, so consistent.
Speaker 1:Like I've been training in the gym and had I've basically been the same size and I've just improved my physique every single year since the age of 21. Like I've been around sitting around 85 kilos to 95 kilos. 85, 85 kilos extremely shredded, 95 kilos is extremely bulk. And for me it's just given me so much freedom, so much confidence. I never have to worry about taking my shirt off. I always in peak condition. Everyone always respect me everywhere I go and no matter which people I talk to, especially women or whatever it is I just I just have this confidence and there's knowing myself.
Speaker 1:I'm so sure I'm not afraid of rejection because of it. I'm like, yeah, now I'll get rejected and people can project on me and I'm like, well, I can hold that because I've had this physique for so long. Like people criticize you when you have a strong physique and they doubt you and they say that you're on steroids and they make up shit, blah, blah, blah. But I'd rather that and deal with those problems than not having to deal with. Well then, having to deal with the problems of a lack of confidence, a lack of you know, living with fear of rejection and not being as disciplined as what I could be I just think about not being the greatest version of myself. I'm like man that would make me so depressed living a mediocre life because I chose it.
Speaker 1:And one way to get out of a mediocre life for any man and for any woman as well, listening to this is to train, is to get your routine and your diet in order. So I hope after this you're excited. You're either going to go over it yourself and have a bit of a look and think like, okay, what can I do, who do I want to be, why do I want to be here and how can I plan this out and map it out? Otherwise, just come to a masterclass. So send you guys a bunch of love. Thank you so much for listening to this. I hope you got a.