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Set The Standard
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Set The Standard
Breaking Burnout: Strategies For Men’s Mental & Emotional Health wtih Bobby Hobert #266
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In this compelling episode of the “Set The Standard Podcast,” host Corey Boutwell sits down with Bobby Hobert to delve into the transformative journey of men’s emotional well-being.
They discuss the challenges men face in expressing emotions, the impact of societal norms, and the profound benefits of authentic male connections.
Key Discussion Points:
Men’s Emotional Struggles: Exploring the common challenges men encounter in expressing their emotions and the societal pressures that contribute to emotional suppression.
The Power of Vulnerability: How creating safe spaces, like men’s retreats, can lead to profound personal growth and the liberation that comes from sharing deeply held experiences.
Personal Journeys: Bobby shares his personal experiences with emotional suppression, the impact of past traumas, and the steps he took towards healing and openness.
Building Authentic Connections: The importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals and the role of community in personal development.
Practical Tools for Emotional Well-being: Actionable advice and techniques for men to enhance their emotional intelligence and foster genuine connections.
Join the Conversation:
If this episode resonates with you, please like, comment, and subscribe. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
Let’s continue the dialogue on men’s emotional health and the journey towards authenticity.
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#MensMentalHealth #EmotionalWellbeing #AuthenticConnections #Vulnerability #PersonalGrowth #SetTheStandardPodcast #CoreyBoutwell #BobbyHobert
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So I got plenty of questions for you, so this is not going to be a dry moment in this conversation. It's not going to be a dry moment in this conversation.
Speaker 2:All right, let's get into it, bobby. Yes, you just absolutely smashed a men's retreat. I think it was like a couple of months ago.
Speaker 1:November.
Speaker 2:November. What did you find during that retreat that men were struggling with the most? That's the first thing I want to know.
Speaker 1:And then I want to know what helped them the most. The thing that they struggled with the most was, coincidentally, the solution that helped them, which was what I observed and felt was that these guys didn't necessarily have a container of men, that they could be extremely transparent, honest and fully who they were, and this space for them was exactly that. And so the solution for them was that was being in a room, in an environment where they could say what was close to their heart. They could be truthful, they could be honest, they could feel that they weren't being judged. So it was close to their heart. They could be truthful, they could be honest, they could feel that they weren't being judged.
Speaker 1:So it was beautiful to witness and, honestly, it served as a reminder to me and I'm sure you can relate to this with the work you do and some of the stuff we discussed at the Run Club the other morning, which is, I take for granted my reality. Like I just told you, when I got here last night, I was in here recording a podcast. 6 PM on a Friday night. I was in here recording a podcast five years ago, 6 PM on a Friday. I'm at the bar and I'm getting the night started Right. So my reality is different.
Speaker 1:My reality of where I live today is just all about growth and adventure and wellbeing. Just all about growth and adventure and wellbeing, and I take it for granted. And being in that environment was like a reminder to me of how important environments are for people and, more specifically, for the guys that were there. So for them and some of the breakthroughs and transformation I saw, these guys were sharing things close to heart that people that they maybe have known for 10 years didn't even know, and and within 48 hours they were open, within 24 hours. They're opening up the deepest, darkest truth and I like take that with so much gratitude because it's it just shows what we were able to create not me, but what we as a, as a collective, were able to create.
Speaker 2:So I got such a question for you. Do you? Do you think that before you got into this work and when you said you know you'd be at the bar ready to get the night started, do you think, bobby, five years ago, five, six years ago, that was going?
Speaker 1:well, I I used that as just like an hour, but I I stopped drinking two and a half years ago, almost three years ago, yeah, so let's just go five years ago, when you were sending it right yeah.
Speaker 2:So let's say Bobby, five years ago, let's say he went to one of your retreats but had no idea what the hell he was going to get into. Do you think that that what you experienced then, at that age, would have just changed everything?
Speaker 1:It's a great question. Um, age would have just changed everything. That's a great question. I would have been extremely open-minded to it. At that point, five years ago, I was pretty deep into the self-improvement spiritual, like trying to live and create my own life. The difference is I would for sure have only been able to have been a attendee to a retreat. There was no way, looking back on it in hindsight, that I would have felt comfortable or confident to be operating from a place of guiding or leading or curating that environment. So I do believe I would have thrived in that environment because I was already kind of. I do believe I would have thrived in that environment because I was already kind of walking this path of reading self-help books, listening to the podcast, writing my own podcast, trying to build my own brand.
Speaker 2:But I was nowhere near ready to hold that type of space for other guys. Do you think if you were, if you participated in it, though, like if you are a participant and you shared the shit that those men shared, you know, within that time, yeah, do you think that would have freed you up to get you to here more quickly?
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 1:There are certain things that came up in the last year and a half, two years that I've shared publicly, which more so is dealing with like, uh, uh, being sexually assaulted when I was a kid and, um, that was something I like really did some work on a year and a half two years ago, started the process of it, and so I share that.
Speaker 1:To say if I was in that environment back then, I would, I that wouldn't have came on my awareness, I don't think I would have even thought about that experience, cause it was so deep in me that, unless someone else talked about a similar experience which, yeah, unless someone else had shared an experience like that and maybe would have been like, ooh wait, I actually have that hidden within me. So I don't know. I think it I hidden within me, so I don't know. I think what I do know is being in those environments, regardless, is going to open you up, is going to shine light on shadows, and whatever I was battling with five years ago, that type of container would have opened me up or made me feel more seen or heard or loved or cared for. So there's no questions asked.
Speaker 2:It's so crazy, hey, because I always think about this myself and I'm like, well, you know, we go to the gym, we get bigger, stronger muscles. You start running. You can run further, harder, longer, and you can achieve amazing things. And then, when it comes to genuine quality of life, so many men just shove their emotions like under the rug and they just stuff them, even these experiences, as you said, because I relate to you.
Speaker 2:I had something very similar happen to me when I was a kid as well, and we don't realize that the masks that we create come from that exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah well, this is. I'm actually loving this dynamic right now because you're in town from australia, which is I could spend the rest of this conversation talking about Aussie, but you guys seem like you live in an elite lifestyle down there, but what you know, something that I've been like learning over the last few years, is really to like let go of this narrative that I maybe was not directly raised in an environment, but with society, in the American culture of a man you know keeps his feeling to himself, he does what he needs to do, he's a hardworking, physical labor man. Right, the, maybe the American dream of what we, we painted. As you know what the masculine male is. I don't know what that looks like growing up in Australia and what maybe the narratives that looked like growing up in australia and what, maybe the narratives and tell you really quickly, please.
Speaker 2:I can tell you really quickly, so it's it's same thing either go to uni or work really hard and get a trade, buy a house, have a kid settle down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so it's. It's probably the through line across anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2:It's probably very similar well, I think australia adopt everything americans do, so we're like one or two years behind because everyone's watching the movies and stuff. So when you guys have trends or whatever I guess the internet sped that up a lot, but I feel like usually we're about like whatever trend is going on a year later is like yeah, so it's literally exactly the same culturally, just a bit different.
Speaker 1:Interesting, okay that that's a um. That is a good understanding for me, just knowing that it's. It was just similar, no matter what it's the environment of what the masculine male is. So, to bring it back to what you're saying, it's like that's what I think is happening in real time right now, especially in conversations like this, and the content and the work that you're doing I'm doing is it's making the emotions of men be something. That is like you can talk about these things.
Speaker 1:And I'll say one of my biggest weaknesses that I saw in myself growing up. I was super self-conscious about it. I judged myself for it was. I recognized I was a very emotional boy and I have grown to a very emotional man and for the longest time in my life I thought that was an absolute weakness, like things would trigger me and make me feel sad or I feel like things that would make me cry maybe wouldn't make some of my other my guy friends growing up cry, and I judged myself heavily. It wasn't until really in the last few years where I actually, like, took a moment to recognize I think that's one of my greatest strengths and I'm proud that I'm an emotional being. I'm an emotional male because I feel things deeply and for the longest time. I thought that was such a weakness.
Speaker 2:Well, do you think that a lot of men in general are like that, but they hide it?
Speaker 1:I think a lot of men have emotions but are just scared to release them, and I think it all connects back to just the environment, their childhood, you know, mom, dad or whoever the parental figure was, their cousins, the people around like, how did they welcome those emotions? I don't know. I was fortunately in an environment where both of my parents were very open to like emotions and there wasn't like this extreme masculinity or extreme femininity like in the household, so like I could share things and I I didn't. I definitely was, like you know, up until I probably left for college, I kept things like my parents separate, like I can't tell my parents about certain things, right. And then, once I got to college, I was like, wait a second, I'm an adult now, like I can tell them things and if they don't agree or love it, I can be truthful with them.
Speaker 1:I don't have to hide things. Even to the masculine, masculine male that could be listening or is out there. He feels something, it's just whether he wants to admit it or he wants to share it. But there's something that will come up. It's the response of does he immediately just dig it and push it away or does he allow himself to actually feel into it and see what comes up from that.
Speaker 2:So I'm so interested in this, so for the men that you know, that you've worked with, you've talked with the ones who don't allow themselves the skill of emotional intelligence to be able to learn, feel, navigate what happens, just bubbles.
Speaker 1:I mean, I, I don't even have to speak on them, I can speak on myself even. Yeah, I can sit here and say you know, I'm a very emotional, aware person, but there's been a huge growth in me over the last few years where I would still keep emotions to myself, more specifically, in my relationship with my partner. Yeah, like I just need to swallow this. I need to be the masculine and just like not communicate how I feel because I'm afraid of how she might respond, which is just complete BS. Like her response is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to actually say how I feel, and so I would dig, bury, bury, and then all of a sudden, this thing just pops off and it blows up into something bigger or the resentment starts to build, or the anger, or the frustration, and it's like, yeah, it's building because you're not saying anything.
Speaker 1:So you know, I can sit here and talk about the clients I've worked, but I don't even need to point fingers at them. I can point the finger at myself and say you got to practice what you preach, which is true Like I am, I will, I'm, I am always a work in progress. The great quote that I heard long ago that I've I've forever loved is always a student, never the master. I'm not gonna sit here just because we're on a podcast and act like I'm the the guy that has all the answers. I don't, I'm just from the jump, have always been willing to kind of share what I learned along the way and hope it resonates or connects with someone. So if you don't mind sharing.
Speaker 2:Then like what ways do you think when you would shove your? Like emotions in and down, how would they then show up in your relationship? And I just want to preface this well, like being a business owner, and I went through a breakup recently as well, so I understand, like what happens in regards to this emotional shit is for me, the energy that was consumed in my relationship by not being able to, in the moment, communicate exactly how I felt just drained all my energy for work. For sure Just drained, all of it.
Speaker 2:And I didn't realize that I'm like why things don't work in how I wanted to work right now and I was like oh, I'm exhausted, right so, but I want to know for you how, how, like the symptoms of stuffing emotions in?
Speaker 1:yeah would show up in your relationship what you just said, though, is so is so important, which is energy. The energy needs to go somewhere. So the frustration, the anger, the feeling annoyed if it's not communicated which I'm sure we can all think back on in moments of our lives, like just saying it out loud to someone, or communicating to the person that is the problem, whatever it is just saying it, you're like ah, to the person that is the problem, whatever it is just saying it, you're like regardless of how they respond you feel immediate tension off your shoulders, right?
Speaker 1:So the reverse is, if you don't, the tension sits in you and it builds, and it builds, and it builds. So the symptoms are exactly what I was just saying. It's like and I once again, I'm speaking from experience I consciously couldn't even understand that I was just building resentment or I was building anger.
Speaker 2:What did your resentment look like? Like how would you act out resentment in your relationship?
Speaker 1:It wouldn't. I can't think of like a specific example, but it could just be as simple as like if she was to ask me to do something but I'm still angry at something that happened yesterday and I didn't communicate it. Now, when she's asking me, in my mind I'm thinking but X, Y and Z happened yesterday. Now you want me to do this. So now it's like I'm frustrated or I'm communicating to her in like this non-loving communicative way, and then you know it's like wait, why are you so mad, you know. So then it's just like it just builds and then as the non-communicating emotional being nothing's wrong Like I just played it off and would act like you know, I just would keep it to myself and it would just build and build and build and sometimes emotions would disappear.
Speaker 1:But some would just linger. And I think what I'd share with you at the coffee shop the other day when we had we had broken up for about two months, looking back on it now, having the you know, two years later, doing a lot of work the reason that bubbles was because there was a lot of resentment and non-communication, and so of course that finally becomes the breaking point where it's like enough is enough. This just doesn't make sense, so like, let's split our ways. All that most likely could have been avoided had I can only own on my side, like had I just spoken up and communicated things along the way crazy.
Speaker 2:So do. Do you feel that, like these circumstances in regards to resentment, that there's like a scared boy in you who's like oh, these feelings or whatever. It is uh hard to feel. So the resentment that you build up is just like a wall of protection so that you don't get hurt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great question. It's hard for me to say because out. So the context is important. The woman I'm engaged to is truly my first real relationship and I have always been a direct straight shooter with people for the most part. I think there were moments in my life where I would avoid conflict and I've gotten much better over the last two years, not just because of the rebuild of the relationship, but my partner like calling me out and saying, like you should speak up and speak your truth to friendships, and so I've gotten much better and that has been a game changer. But I was never put to the test really until I was in an intimate relationship with someone. Like you have your arguments with parents, with family, with close loved ones, with friends, but an intimate partner, as you know, like it will breed a completely new version of you that you never saw as possible. And so, yeah, I can only say like that brought a lot of testing and learning and growing for me in a lot of different ways. And then you know I can't.
Speaker 1:It's not like I'm pointing the finger, but I really do believe the sexual assault when I was 12.
Speaker 1:I think that, without me really being aware of it most of my life, like just taught me this skill of like either hiding things or acting like something never happened, or just completely burying emotions. So once again, I say that from a place of I'm not blaming. I don't see that as like a reason or a scapegoat for anything that happens from this moment for the reach of my life that I can always like. Well, this happened when I was getting. No, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying like I think I consciously, unconsciously, like just built this skill of like hiding the deepest, darkest truth of my life and I shared what had happened with four friends when it happened, when we were 12, my best friends. We talked about it. After that moment, nothing was ever said until I was 12, then probably not until I was 28 or 29. It was as if it never happened. So my opinion is that experience led to this place of not sharing emotions, hiding things.
Speaker 2:It's just so much shadow work, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and honestly, part of that shadow work comes from a place of being able to start speaking on it, and it was January of last year.
Speaker 1:Um, at that point I was probably eight months in on really doing some work on it, rediscovered it through therapy, then started to bring it to family and close loved ones, my partner and then I got to a place where I was like I actually want to publicly talk about this because it's so aligned with all the work that I do and I know it's going to have a ripple effect and also, selfishly, I knew it was going to be. Like let's just get this out of me, let's just put this out there to the world to say part of the shadow work is in moments like this, where I feel it come up, where there's an example, being able to confidently speak on it, from a place of like I don't judge my, I have no attachment to that happening to me anymore. Like I don't judge myself, I don't feel resentment to, um, my friend who did that like it's, it's not part of me, doesn't define who I am, um, because you've, like, owned it I've owned it, yeah it wasn't.
Speaker 2:You know, I it wasn't a decision like it weirdly gives me peace knowing that wasn't a decision I made you're so crazy because when, uh, the first time I had to share something that was hectic, I was at this retreat myself and was like, oh, we're gonna share some shame right now. And they're like you're gonna share this shit that you've never, ever shared or told anyone before, and I remember this they set the frame like that yeah, like no, not like before the actual process.
Speaker 2:They were just introduction of the day. They're like and there's going to be like tomorrow night or some shit gotcha. And I remember I was thinking I was like no, the fuck, I'm not. I was like there's no fucking way in hell that I'm sharing any of the things that have ever happened to me in no situation. There is no way in hell that that's gonna happen. And then the way the container was set was very beautiful, it was very intentional, it was very safe. There was so much safety and I was like, oh god, I have to like, let this go, I have to let this go and like this, I felt this fear in my chest.
Speaker 1:That was so strong.
Speaker 2:It was like this dark purple energy that was just like in me and like, as I even went to go to say something, like every part of my nervous system was like no don't say. Don't say, as if I was just like pinned down by like 10 like jacked-ass dudes just like, don't say this shit, it was just something that happened between me and, like some other little boys, and I took it all home and happened with everyone right I was like oh, this is really cool.
Speaker 2:I was like you're actually a kid. Yeah, you were just a kid when all that stuff happened, but I feel that there are so many people that have had experiences like that that they don't feel comfortable enough to share for sure they feel so scared for sure it's like. What would you like encourage or say to those people, because I know you're passionate about it as well?
Speaker 1:yeah, well, I'm gonna answer that, but and then I want I actually want to come back to I'm curious on your opinion on I'm saying this out loud now so we don't forget but I would love your opinion on what's the right way to set that container, cause there's a version that I like love, like hey, we're going to share our biggest shames and darkest truths, but I also think there's a world where you create the container without saying it and it happens naturally, like the, the moments for the guys that were at my retreat and I saw each of them get to that, that truth that has been so close to them. The frame wasn't we're going to go there, it was the experience, the exercise that just allowed it, and probably it was the first person who was like willing to say something that created the confidence and ripple for everyone else. So I'd love to come back to that, cause I I think there's like the right way to do it and there's also like don't pressure people to fucking say and I'm not saying that's what it was, but I want to come back to that the question was how do you get people to speak these things? Right? That was somewhat Pretty much. Yeah, it's really hard because once again it goes back to what I was saying.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful of the reality that I live in right now, like, if I look at the five men that I'm closest to here in Austin, I could pick up the phone any hour, any day of the week, and ask them like hey, can you hold space for me right now, full stop. And they would. If they had, if they were able to, they'd say what's up. I could say literally anything and I would be met with love and like, just like so much care, right. And that comes from two things One, being extremely mindful of the men I'm attracting into my life, but two, it also comes from the confidence of being in willing to like go there with them, right.
Speaker 1:So I think for people it's, can you find that one person that you can share these things with? And I think what's most important for me in these moments when I, um, whether I'm sharing something or I'm setting a container for someone, is I've found like almost creating I don't want to call it rules, but like some ground rules, even in, like the men's dinners that I host here in Austin. It's like some of the stuff I may say may seem redundant and you know this, but I also need to say it for those that need to be reminded. Like you know, what is said here is going to stay here. Um, you can be your most authentic self without judgment. There is no unsolicited advice given unless asked for right.
Speaker 1:So if I'm someone who has no one around me or I feel like I need someone, that would be my first step is find someone I trust and then say, hey, I need to share something with you, corey, that has been really on my chest. I'm extremely scared to say it. I would really appreciate if you, you know, would keep this to yourself, like, set the frame and kind of get the permission, like Corey, like is like, do you feel okay with that If I, if we went there and then you can, you know, hopefully, share it? But yeah, one thing I want to touch on to.
Speaker 2:That is like just for people who might be thinking I don't know about you, but for me, when I thought about, oh my god, sharing this stuff in general just going to be insane, like fuck this, there's no way, was being on the other end of when people actually filled you up after you've done that and they create this like, um, like allow you to just receive from them, and it's encouragement and it's celebration and you get met with love and that. That moment that you said of just being like yeah, yeah and it's.
Speaker 1:It's interesting and I'm sure you can agree, it's even being in the space of others opening up. You get lit up from it. Oh, because you're seeing transformation in real time and it's like the most intoxicating drug. I don't want to see these guys go through what they've gone through. I don't wish those experiences upon anyone, but to see someone be able to just say it and without any judgment, it's beautiful.
Speaker 2:I agree. To get on your point, when you mentioned, when you're asking me the question, uh, I'll let you know because we ended up creating for, like our retreats, we created like our own process for enabling this to happen. Love, and it is so intense. I'm not going to share, but it is like one of the most, it is so deep end that we're like. This is so, so hectic. We like took a few of the ones that we liked and created our own and it was just, it's absolutely brutal.
Speaker 2:I love it um, but how we set the container is we don't do anything. Um, you could say, like throughout the day it's like something that we wouldn't do first, right, so there's like a lot of work that takes the whole day to get to that specific moment. And we set it as an invitation. So for you, I think it's just an invite you don't actually have to share. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You can just sit here and witness, and everyone's cool with that. So we get the permission from everyone.
Speaker 1:But what everyone, but what I think makes it the tightest?
Speaker 2:the first is we go first all facilitators go you set the bar, we set the bar, so, and I think that with that, we're like okay, this is the process, is what we're doing. We explain this is what's going to happen. This is what it looks like in your body. This is what's going to happen in your nervous system. You may see someone go through this. Right, don't freak out if you're seeing someone having trauma moving throughout their body. Just be your support and we teach people to hold space before doing it. This is what holding space looks like. Do not leave the room. If you leave, we're going to grab you and bring you back like while someone's going through something unless we say there's a break and a pause.
Speaker 2:If anyone needs to leave, like leave, because we're not here as witnesses like it's it's selfish, while someone's going through their something, to be going through their own. It's like okay, we have to hold our process because this person's going through something and we'll have our, have our turn. Yeah, so that's how we do it and we kept it really tight. And our last one was we're like the most proud I've ever been one of the exercises that we run, um, because people were coming after that. You're up and they're like I was. I was gonna share like one thing. I shared everything.
Speaker 1:Like but I, I really loved this. Um, it's an invitation, yeah, and that's something I took out of one of my friends here in Austin. I took out of his playbook where, even when I've chatted with him, instead of saying my advice, he would, I'd say, I would invite you to do x, y and z. And it's like this, gentle, like it's it, for whatever reason. The way I interpret it is like it is this it's it's like an invitation, right, you get the invite in the mail and it's your choice of whether you show up or not. It's not like there's no RSVP, we don't need a yes or no. It's like, hey, this is where it's happening, be there or don't be there, it's all good, and I think that is really powerful. The other thing I'll say and I'm curious, um, if you've experienced this, how long have you been Austin now?
Speaker 2:Eight days, seven days I've been Austin. I think I've been a bit longer. I think I've been here like 10, 12 days now.
Speaker 1:Great, well, the way you're moving, it's probably feel like a month, because all this all the, all the things you're doing, which?
Speaker 2:I respect.
Speaker 1:But one thing that I always heard about Austin before I moved here, and maybe it wasn't until I moved here and I heard people kind of joke about it. But this city is known to be kind of like a city where, like, you meet someone and then within 20 minutes they're telling you that you're deep, their deepest, darkest traumas, and like, once again, the right container. It makes sense. But I have been in environments where, you know, it's more of like a public setting of like 50 or 60 people and there's like these things that there's like I don't want to say there's levels to it, but there's like things that these topics are really, really like.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of nuance to them.
Speaker 1:They're heavy, they're heavy and there's a lot of nuance to them. They're heavy and there's a lot of nuance to them. Yeah, so it's, it's, it's, I guess, what I'm trying to say. It's, it's being mindful about the time and place of where, you know, this is like the container that I think it's appropriate. If we were out, you know, outside of this studio, and we met three people, I wouldn't be telling them certain things, because it's just like-.
Speaker 2:Hey, you got to tell me this shit.
Speaker 1:You got to warm up to it.
Speaker 2:I like the thing of heavy, because when I think about heavy it's like if you put a lot of weight on your back in a barbell squat and you got a lot of weight on there and you just fuck around and go down and up without thinking about shit, you're going to snap some shit up, man yeah.
Speaker 1:Just being mindful about where, because the other thing, if we think of it from heavy, is when you tell these things to people, you're passing on the weight and in the right container and space it doesn't feel like weight. It feels like, if anything, they're helping you balance out the weight so that 400 pound dumbbell I come in and now I'm assisting you and now we feel like we have it together. But if it's in the wrong space, the wrong container and it's just like put on someone, it can feel like you just pass them the 400 pound.
Speaker 2:Yeah barbell, yeah, which is why I think and I know you agree that's why the work's so important yeah, yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean you, you gotta, you gotta kind of throw yourself in the deep end and see where it takes you, yeah yeah, especially in the safe places, yeah, yeah, because otherwise, you know, uh, this thing that I've been seeing a lot recently is people like reopening traumas and not closing anything, and I feel like it's been a bit of a topic recently of just like being careful, like where you go and do things, because you don't want to like reopen the the same thing again and again, and again yeah and I find, like for me, that I've been in patterns where I've like had that before and it's been open and open and I haven't been able to like close the thing properly.
Speaker 2:Have you experienced something like that?
Speaker 1:I know exactly the experience you're talking about, the only. I mean, there's probably some stuff in between, but what comes up is when I graduated college in 26,. That was a gnarly head crack. Hopefully the camera can zoom in. For that part, you've got to cut to that camera and show the wild thing that I just saw from my peripherals, the thing that comes up. And, once again, I'm sure there's a lot of many things along the way, but it would be when I graduated college in 2016,. And this girl and I kind of split ways and I was heartbroken and I just like heartbroken and like I just kept reliving in that experience and what I could have, or what she had over what she didn't like, on and on. And the work that I've been diving to since October is Joe Dispenza's work, and I love that work because I don't know how familiar you are with, with his stuff.
Speaker 1:But I've read a couple of these books man, breaking the habit of being yourself, by far the most important book I've ever read in my life, and what I, what I've taken from his work is yeah, there's a time and place where you gotta you gotta look at the past. You gotta dig into the traumas and the things that have played a role in making you who you are. But at some point that needs to be compartmentalized and and we now need to put the energy into where do we go from here? Right, I I'm going to butcher it, but it's like I forget how he says it.
Speaker 1:It's so beautiful, but it's like what you give energy and attention to ends up becoming your reality, right. So it's like, once again, I'm not dismissing or saying you can't talk about the traumas, like that's why I've, when the moments come, I share about the truth from years ago and then I move on from it and I don't milk it for the entire conversation. But at some point it's like what has happened has happened, right, and now we need to focus on where do we go from here? And I think that has been a huge help for me in closing my own loops that want to keep running what used to be or whatever the past was, and that helps me then start to look into the future of like, what is it that I want to become? What do I want to take from these lessons or these experiences? How do I want to, you know? You know, as a metaphor, like, lock the vault and throw the key in the ocean and move on and not carry that weight with me?
Speaker 2:yeah, that makes so much sense and to do that you've learned a bunch of tools and even like before we jumped on this podcast, you've had like a crazy busy day. Things been chaos. You go to new, you're dude, let's do two minutes, let's get grounded.
Speaker 2:I need to get connected to my breath before this, because my brain's going like a million miles an hour and even just saying that, I feel, takes a lot of confidence, a lot of self-assurance and a lot of practice doing the work, because some people be like, okay, let's just go straight into it and just sit being wild and being able to actually speak to something, and that's a tool that you have. It's a tool.
Speaker 1:It's a tool, but once again, not to cut you off. But it's so interesting because as I'm driving here, I'm like all right, when I get there I'm going to ask Corey if we can drop in. And then there was that thought of like what is he going to think of me asking this? And then I that if I was meeting them, they wouldn't be meeting for a podcast. But if I was meeting them for a coffee and I was like, hey, good to see you, can we do a two minute meditation, They'd be like what? Like, which is fine, that there's no judgment, there's no, I'm better, you're worse, there's nothing, it's just, it's just not the same wavelength. So it's, it's just funny how we you know, we were discussing earlier about just environment and reality and I knew you would not even second guess it like. So and I met you on Tuesday and and we met through cory, who owns the studio that recommend, it's just like it's just. I I mean divine, I don't know like it just oh, it's crazy.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of um like. I went to a men's circle last night oh man, it's so good to just receive. I had, like the best time. And it was crazy because when we were there, a thing that was brought up commonly was you know, out in the real world, you know, when we're not in here, like we don't, a lot of people don't get to experience what we experience in here. And yes, that's so true for most people, like for most. But I'm like that has not been my reality for years and I think that when you get into the point of learning these tools and learning these practices and practicing them, it is the whole manifestation thing. It's like your whole mind and your sight. Sort of just you divert your eyes from anything else that isn't something conscious and present, so you're just never around it anymore.
Speaker 2:For sure, and then you start opening your eyes to what is more present and aware and has more consciousness and brings more fulfillment and joy. That's not going out and getting pissed or not being so stressed out that you can't even think properly with the boys and you have to go out and do something crazy to release or jump into endless amounts of sex porn yeah right to move through it it's also interesting too.
Speaker 1:I bet there is, and I don't know if they share this or not. I bet you. There was someone in that men's circle last night where that maybe was their beginning intro to oh it's definitely men's work.
Speaker 2:Yeah. They'll say like, yeah, this is our first time here and they're like whoa which?
Speaker 1:which first time there? Then the question is is this your first time doing men's work? Is this your first time? Like that would be my next follow-up is I'd be curious to know. Like, yeah, there are men's circles that I've been to. It's the first time being there, I would say, but it's not my first step into the world of the men's work.
Speaker 1:So what's also beautiful for you is and myself is then it becomes from this place of being the participant to then having the skill sets, the tools and confidence to say, hey, I may not have it all figured out, I'm the student, I'm not the master, but I feel in a place where I can guide and lead all you other men as well. So that's where it becomes like this beautiful yin yang, where it's like I love facilitating, co-hosting, guiding, but damn, do I also enjoy being a participant and just being able to. But you need, you need both. Like the coach needs to coach, the you know leader needs to also be the participant. It it's important to be on both sides of it oh god, I loved it so much yeah, I was like this is something at the end, and they asked some questions.
Speaker 2:I was like man, it is just so good to receive from the guys in such like a positive way.
Speaker 1:Do you have this reality in Australia?
Speaker 2:Yeah. That you've created the same type of period A lot of in Australia because I have like really close friendship groups, like I have the most amazing friends in Australia, friends in australia whether they're from gold coast or adelaide, because I'm from kind of like from two places and I have like my community and all the men in that and there's other communities that come off the side of that.
Speaker 2:it's like I would say, like I haven't prioritized going to other men's groups, because when I'm there I've got like my friends you've already got your core and I've got like my friend. Yeah, you've already got your core and I've got my own. Um, but going today of like last night I was like oh, just different.
Speaker 1:I gotta prioritize doing this. I was like, oh my gosh, this is so nice because I'm here and I'm traveling and I want to meet people like yeah, yeah and I'm like oh, so you're saying you need to prioritize, as in, when you go back to australia, you want to prioritize going to men's circles where you don't know anyone yeah, yeah, be a. Oh, my God, you're not a participant in the men's circles that you're part of back home, or you're always the one that's leading it.
Speaker 2:Usually always the one that's leading. Oh, I see, yeah. So always because it's grind hustle, get this, move this. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah, I see For me. But I put a few on my to Austin so I was like sweet because it was on my to-do list. So, regardless if I was in Australia or Austin, I would have got around?
Speaker 1:Do you live in the part of Australia where you grew up in, or no? No, okay, that would have been a really I would have wanted to dig deeper in. How do you allow, not allow? But if I was living where I grew up, it would it's not that it wouldn't be possible to my reality wouldn't feel like this, because I would be getting pull from respectfully you know, friends that I grew up with, where it's just completely different interests, different backgrounds at this point, which doesn't mean they're not my friends, it's just it would be different. So, all right, I went like um, my potential got capped.
Speaker 2:Nothing to do with anyone around me, it was just me, because I found it really hard to say no to things, whether it was a wedding, a birthday, an event or this thing and that, and it was always like, oh, I have to wear these emotions and I'm like I need yeah, I need I just need alone time, I need to be in my own head, and so I need to go so I went but it's crazy, because then you spend two, three years in a location and then the same thing happens, like, okay, so two things.
Speaker 2:I can either learn the skill and be able to like center and go through this and not wear on everything, so that I can feel that my and still grow and just be really disciplined on myself, or, you know, just move on again for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then come back. But I feel like Gold Coast in Australia, is like it's like the Austin, yeah, yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. It was interesting the year and a half before I moved from LA to here was kind of this new identity that was starting to, you know, become and you know, not drinking. So I was, you know before that, like in the deep scene of LA going to the parties doing that whole lifestyle.
Speaker 2:And then Candyland.
Speaker 1:I look at LA as Candyland.
Speaker 2:It's magical.
Speaker 1:It's magical.
Speaker 1:It's a playground of opportunity. And I, just I, which I just was so inspired I mean you're talking about like the hub of opportunity for the creator slash, like this type of work maybe not men's work exists out there, but like I, just I was so fascinated to, you know, be in neighborhoods where I knew, like these are where the top talent of the world is living. Um, and without going too deep, but like, for instance, the, the palisades, which was the biggest part of the fire in LA, I've walked those neighborhoods. Like those neighborhoods, I mean you're talking every house, minimum three to four million dollars, us I don't know what that is in Australian and yeah, I mean it just was beautiful and immaculate. And you go, take that same neighborhood that you put out here in Austin and those houses are literally five or 600,000, but it's because of the location, the city, everything that it puts it on this pedestal. And so you have the highest caliber of, you know, fame. And I never was like chasing it.
Speaker 1:I definitely like found myself in certain times where I was like, am I going to this Cause I actually want to go, or it's just cause like X person's hosting it and I have an invite, but I just I'm so happy that I got to experience it, cause it was a long time dream of mine to live in LA and there's a two year period where I really got to experience like the whole like party in the Hills out till 5.00 AM, like you know, like $50 million real estate house, like going to a party it's just like yeah, so I call it candy land, cause there's just so much opportunity.
Speaker 1:But I digress, I don't even remember how I got there, but I got there because what I was trying to say was, in that year and a half limbo of letting go of this old identity, stepping into new identity, there were invites, there were things that I had to get better at saying no to because I knew it wasn't aligned with me. And then I moved to Austin with this very clear idea of who the next version of me is trying to become, and so then all I did was attract men that I was inspired by and the things that I say no to. It tends to just be because from a place of like bandwidth or not trying to overwhelm myself.
Speaker 2:But if I could go to every single thing I've gotten invited to here, I would, because it's in alignment with who I am and what I value yeah, so cool one thing that I've definitely experienced after, like meeting the guys at your run club and then go into the men's circle and just be like into, like interconnecting with, like each person, each person, each person has just been this like immediate lock-in, like it's not like you know, it takes a few sentences or whatever it is, it's like there's just immediate snaps drop right in. I'm just like boom and I've been like wow, this is really welcoming.
Speaker 2:And I don't think it's a city thing, I think it's a like a societal thing of just how many people here are doing the work for sure and I find that it's, and what I mean by doing the work, is like learning about motion intelligence, understanding your conditions and your patterns, how you can show up more free in your body without having to be scared and you know, look people in the eyes and you know, not divert your eyes and create the big asks, network and connect people for whatever reason.
Speaker 2:It's just like, it's just so cool cool yeah and I found like, like, like that happening has been really, I was like I felt a lot of connection, like like good quality connection. I'm like, oh, this is like something that I feel that in other areas of my life I've just craved yeah, it's dude.
Speaker 1:It's honestly inspiring to hear like what you've been able to drop yourself into in a brand new city where maybe you knew a few people, and you're here traveling by yourself Like bro. That's insane, like I would be willing to argue and bet that the depth that you will feel from when you got here to when you leave, in that timeframe of two weeks or whatever. It is some people who move to a new city not feel that once in a year and it's a testament to who you've become. The intentionality of you know where you're placing yourself and the people you're meeting which then creates the ripple. But that's pretty amazing to hear like how men's circle you've been doing all the podcasts. You went to the men's run club, like you're just like throwing yourself in all the right environments, bro.
Speaker 1:It's so cool to hear.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:Austin is like I didn't really know until I moved here, like this is a breeding ground for all this work, like you know, I'm sure you can find in Chicago, I'm sure you can find it in Miami, but it's just, it's what my reality sees. But there's also reality where we could go out on 6th Street tonight and you can be out to the bar until 2 am and you know, like there's that reality too, that exists. But the reality that I see Austin has this work, la has it, and you know there's other parts of the country. But it's beautiful man, it's a great city for it, it really is.
Speaker 2:And I was like I've had so much fun wanting to like place myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In the right scenes and I've just been having a blast just like going in. So thanks for seeing that, by the way, yeah. It was really cool. One of my friends lives here and he was like I think you've done more stuff in the last year Like that I've done in the last year in like four days. That was funny One thing that I liked going to. I don't know, have you been to the Ecstatic Dance Center here?
Speaker 1:No, but we chatted about it at the coffee.
Speaker 2:Dude, you've got to come tomorrow. Yeah, I don't know if you've got time.
Speaker 1:I can't tomorrow, but it sounds incredible from what you were sharing. You've got to go. It's like a two-hour experience At some point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's just. There's just a room, they play random songs, everyone's in their own energy, like usually eyes closed or chilling, and then everyone just moves their body in a way that they they want to and you're like don't disturb anyone and you sort of chill unless there's sort of like this like you know, eye contact and you're like kind of nod and you're like yeah, we have a bit of a boogie together yeah, um, and it can get like real.
Speaker 2:It can feel really uncomfortable if you haven't done it before, like where the hell has just an ecstatic dance house that just does ecstatic dance all the time.
Speaker 1:It's like 9 am on or like what time is it? Like 11, 10 to 12 10 to 12 on a sunday. Yeah, you go to. You go to a dance from 10 to 12 on a sat night and there's going to be some, like you know, people are trying to grind and do some free stuff. This is like 10 to noon. There's like kids I think you told me about like people. You're just in your own environment, 80s and shit.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, it's crazy, but I'm like it's just part of like what it's like.
Speaker 1:Wow In Austin, I'm just like what. There. Yeah, it's insane. This the city's inviting for what you want it to be. Yeah, there's no limits to just being who you are and not being judged for it so much going on.
Speaker 2:I think I had like two invites tonight to to just all this different stuff, and I've been like in this telegram group, in this whatsapp group and then this other app that people use.
Speaker 1:They're just in there just wow, shit, that's like happening and I'm like this is overwhelming because in aust, throwing shit, that's like happening.
Speaker 2:And I'm like this is overwhelming Because in Australia there's like one thing that happens every two, three weeks. Wow, you know what I mean. Like in my world, in Australia, I'm like, holy hell, I got to make a decision around this. Wow, I'm stressed, can we?
Speaker 1:meditate for two minutes.
Speaker 2:I need to make a decision right.
Speaker 1:It's a good problem to have, given you're traveling here and maybe you know you have that friend and you've met a few other people, but that's yeah it's honestly so inspiring to hear that you've already just dropped in and connected with that many people so quickly. It's wild.
Speaker 2:but what I want to know, because that's like a tool that I have. There's like a tool and a skill that I have where I've learned how to just kind of like put myself into environments and situations, and I feel like one of the tools that I've learned that I'm really proud of is working on my energy enough that when I go somewhere, I'm really clean, I'm really calm, I've got a big smile on my face. People just come to me.
Speaker 2:I don't even do anything, I just chill, and the next minute someone asks me a question or something happens and then it just ripples, it just ripples, and it's like I actually don't do anything, I just rock up and. But talking in terms of tools because we had the two-minute meditation and then I was like, using that as a tool, what are some tools that you have learned that you found extremely beneficial, that you've been able to help other people with. That have just really helped them.
Speaker 1:You know the meaty one that comes up and you were just kind of saying it which is helping people set better boundaries and being able to say no. I think that's a massive tool that will create freedom, peace, more rest, truly like joy, like the amount of, you know, people that I've chatted with, worked with whatever, that feel they have to say yes to every invite or thing, and so they build out this calendar where it's just constantly running around. And the only reason I was a little flustered coming here was and I loved it because my buddy was so grateful and giving me so much time was I thought I was going to be with him for an hour. It ended up being like two and a half hours and he was there to help me, which was incredible. He was so generous for it.
Speaker 1:But usually I would be so much more intentional with like I'm not going to build out my days where I feel overwhelmed, like it's ultimately me that's saying yes to all these things, right.
Speaker 1:So I think that's probably the one tool that can unlock new levels of peace, joy, happiness. But in the process of doing that, you have to let go of the narratives of like what are people going to think I'm going to let them down, like the people pleasing the feeling bad, like I've just always looked at it as like, if I don't take care of myself, who's going to do it for me? And so, just the same way you were, you know, sharing about how, you know that time where maybe you were like feeling bad, saying no to the wedding or the birthday party, or because you were kind of in that limbo of being around people that you used to hang with but they don't really align with you anymore, I think that if you can master the tool of saying no, all you're going to do is create more time and energy to do the things that actually matter. And, um, yeah, I'd say that's, that's the number one tool.
Speaker 2:What's the? More I just want to know just some more tools, ones in the moment like that drop in two minutes beautiful yeah, I, I like to call it, uh, the the things that we hear and know.
Speaker 1:but we can sometimes either like take it for granted or think, no, it can't be that simple. Make me feel my best self and I'll lean on more. If I am not feeling good would be eating clean, drinking a lot of water. I stopped drinking alcohol, like really mindful with sweets. It kind of goes with the eating. Um, daily sweat. Funny enough, I haven't sweat today but I I likely will tonight.
Speaker 1:If not, I try to get myself at least one day off the week Meditation, and I would say the next one would be those random moments where that two minutes wasn't meditation. When I say meditation, usually I'll carve out 20, 30 minutes a day to sit down and sit for that duration, stillness For stillness. But then there's those I'd call them like little mindset, like mindful resets, where if I need a two minute break in between a project, a phone call, put the timer on, close my eyes wherever I am and just breathe. And that can be even driving, like even driving. Here I didn't have music on and I was trying to be mindful of, like focus on driving, but just tap into your breath and try to reset and calm yourself. That's another weird hack is like my partner and I rarely drive with music on. Either we're chatting or we just love the stillness of. We both are very busy people and sometimes getting from a to b and just quiet solitude can be exactly what we need.
Speaker 2:That's a tool, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so give me, give me a tool for yourself, maybe the one that I haven't shared I like, I like self-reflective writing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think every time that I've done any sort of self-reflective writing yeah I've just is it daily?
Speaker 2:daily for you no, it's more when you need it a little bit more fluid and I feel that. But for me recently, because I've been doing more like more regularly, it's close to daily that it's like, oh, this is a habit and a practice just works for me and it's just something that works. Yeah, I call it. There's a difference. I use, like self-reflective writing, which actually learned at uni like and they, they taught, they taught me to, to write by speaking, how I feel around things. I felt this for this thing specifically. So self-reflective writing isn't just like a journal prompt, isn't just writing down a list. It is like, oh, I did this and it made me feel x, y, z, um, and that is incredible.
Speaker 2:And then I like musings. I call them. Musings is where I just get like a piece of paper and I just start just mapping shit out, sort of like mind maps, but not exactly because I'm not doing a map for my mind or a map for my business or something. I just start going off. This connects to this thing which is on top of my mind and connects to this thing. This would be equal, this, whatever it is. Those have always just worked so beneficial for me, like as as tools, and I did a microdosing, so I did like a microdosing meditation visualization session with this woman and her group called she's like, called conscious dot, mother and instagram, and we did the session and we did like a lot.
Speaker 1:You're an a lot of awesome. Yeah, of course, yeah, of course. Add it to the list of things you've done. Yeah, he's like give me everything.
Speaker 2:I love it but one of my friends. I had him on the podcast. His name's sean. He he's done like the last two weeks and every time I've asked him to hang out and do stuff he's done more than I have and I thought I've done a lot. I'm like what the hell? How do you do? It's crazy, but we did all this like self-reflective. We did like a self-reflective piece, we did a journal piece, we did all this other stuff and it was crazy. I wrote down on there. I'm like I really would like some point this year for some people to reach out to me that are like high level to connect with and within the last like 48 to 52 hours I have had like two like big dogs in in the industry. Like that I am reach out. I'm not saying anything because it's like secret wow, yeah, we don't even know they reached out.
Speaker 2:One is like a collaboration opportunity, which is really cool. So I was like I wanted something paid, but I'm like it's still this is a leaf foot in the door so good. And then the next one is, like you know, a big guest to come down to one of our retreats and I was just like it just blew my brain. I've just been like wow, with that amount of tension actually writing that down, being able to see it and making sure that you're doing things aligned with it, yeah I'm just working and they both saw my content that I've been posting about doing those things.
Speaker 1:So you're living in alignment with yourself. It's attracting other people. Um, it's not about the number of followers. It's not about the money you make. It's about how you feel and, coincidentally, how you feel ripples into how you show up in person, online, which people see that they want to. You know a taste of it. They want to know how, how you feel that way because they're realizing the external things that doesn't do that, or the internal things of their feeling aren't doing that. So it's crazy.
Speaker 2:It makes sense yeah, and like I think when you are like things happen, like obviously for you and your social media and your podcast, like all of those things like working and growing, a lot of people look at like you and want to have the results that you have want to do the podcast like you've done, want to create content like like you have. I went through and I was like, I was like binging all your content and I was like man bobby's, just really good at creating content like just in general like you're really good and it's like a.
Speaker 2:It's more like an art form for you, like when you're creating. Like I saw there's one. Really you had you just like filter coffee. You're doing something and I was just like this whole thing like looks really beautiful. But what I know is there's a lot of people out there that have started this work. They want to get into this work. They sort of don't really know exactly where to start and they do know that they want to create content, but they're still like scared what would you say?
Speaker 1:I would say, if you're doing it for the right reasons, you're going to do it regardless, and I would say you don't know how the steps you're taking today are actually building on something bigger for the future. I just posted a video yesterday and the title of it on top was my TikTok story and I'll share, which is from year zero, which is 2016, to year end of 2021. So call it five years, six years. I grew my socials on YouTube, instagram, all the other platforms a collective of 8,000. Maybe In 2022 alone, I grew my socials 400,000. And the reason that that happened was and it was you know every, you see the hockey stick growth for businesses or creators or insert whatever brand. Like it happens is.
Speaker 1:I was at the right place at the right time and all the skills that I had been learning right Running a podcast for that entire journey, testing YouTube vlogs, getting good at writing scripts, recording voiceovers all that experience came to a singular moment where TikTok was starting to pop up and I was like, why don't I? Well, I didn't say this, I had encouragement from someone else, looked me in the eye and was like you need to go all in on TikTok, and so I was like, okay, let's take in all the skills of vlogs, of writing scripts, of recording my audio, and let's make a TikTok vlog. And it blew up and then I kept rolling with it and then the content skyrocketed. So I share that as, like, you see, the present day version of my content, but, like, all I've done is just put one foot in front of the other and just kept creating. And even if you go look at 2022 to now, my Instagram or TikTok in 2022, where every post was thousands of likes, hundreds of comments and it's the engagement now is not even a thousandth of what I got then, but I haven't stopped because I know, once again, the right time, the right moment, the right piece of content it'll hit and I'll take whatever that is and run with it, but I'm I'm doing the thing that I'm supposed to be doing on this planet. If you gave me $100 million tomorrow, I would still be doing this work.
Speaker 1:So, if we're speaking to creators specifically that are interested, if it's something you really want to do, you just got to do it and you got to trust the process that, one foot in front of the other, you're going to figure out your lane, your name, and you know there's even resistance when I posted the TikTok video yesterday about my perspective on TikTok getting banned. And you know why am I going to post this. Like you know, there's so many other people posting videos, why is anyone going to watch mine? Like there's all that critics still years in, seven, eight years in as a creator. But then I check myself and I remember myself. That's just a part of me. Yeah, the real part I want to listen to is bobby. Why not? What could happen, man?
Speaker 2:I I had. I don't speak on this because I had one of my clients voice note me today and he said to me I'm trying to shorten it because he sent me like a long message, but he said something along the lines of this he's like all right, I know I want to do something in the influencing space or the e-commerce space and I know that it's going to come from creating content and I want to do it through my personal brand and I want to get started, but for some reason, like I'm in flow, I'm crushing it. I crush my gym, I do like my work, I do like my meditation, I do all these things, but then, when it comes to creating content, I just go blank. I can't do anything. I don't create anything, I don't post anything and I just get fucking frustrated at myself and I do nothing.
Speaker 1:Path of least resistance. So I have no context to his background as a creator.
Speaker 2:So he hasn't created really anything, anything, which is fine.
Speaker 1:So what I would do if I was him is find a creator that's making content that you're really inspired by, that you would love to create, and use that as a, as a test model, and try to create something similar with your own spin to it. Everything that you see for me present day is a one-on-one with me, but that's coming from all these inspirations of other creators and it's mixed into this pot and then published as Bobby Hobart, like the written copy is one of one. It's mine, the voice is clearly me, the shots are me, but I just pay attention to the landscape of what's working for other creators. The reason my TikTok had that hyper growth was because I saw other people making these vlogs and it was doing really well and I was like I can make my own version of that, and so I made one morning routine video that did 4 million views in a month and grew my TikTok from a thousand to 40,000. And I was like, whoa, why is it that I've recorded so many morning routine podcasts and Instagram photo posts and like I got more views on that video in one hour than I did collectively on all those, right? So I would just encourage that person to just look at the landscape of what content inspires him.
Speaker 1:Use that as a as a test. Create your own version of it. Keep doing that with other creators until you find the content that you're excited to create. There's a lot of different styles of content I could create. I don't, because I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy the process of making it.
Speaker 1:So, I would encourage him to find something that inspires him and try to replicate it. And not copy it word for word or shot for shot, but take inspiration and say hey, if this concept and style worked for him or her, it probably could work for me, so why not try it?
Speaker 2:I love that and as well, I find, like script writing, such an art and a skill like it's such an art and skill to follow and I think people don't understand what it's like in terms of the awkwardness of writing down whatever your script formula is and then trying to remember it or putting it up somewhere, looking back and forth from a camera whilst you've got a light on you and then you're like all right, I've got to turn this bit on. Write it, say it, remember it.
Speaker 1:However, it is. Here's the hack. Here's the hack.
Speaker 2:How do you do it? How do you go?
Speaker 1:through and get over the crush, the I don't make those videos for that reason. So I I once again self-awareness, having the background of podcasting, which was different. This is different. Right, it's just raw in real time, but there were podcast solo podcasts that I would record. I'd write the whole script because I wanted to be intentional and mindful of everything I said and I would read it verbatim to a camera. So I was like I'm gonna do, do that for TikTok.
Speaker 1:And so I've tried doing those videos where, like the copy's off screen, I read it, look back, cut it up so it looks like one smooth piece and I just didn't enjoy creating it. What I did enjoy creating was having a blank piece of paper, being extremely mindful and specific about what I wanted to say, typing it up, writing it, editing it Cool, that looks good Grabbing my little iPhone attachment mic recording the audio and then taking B-roll footage and putting it on top to visually be appealing to the consumer. So if you're sitting there saying it's hard for me, once again what I just said, there are certain types of content I don't make because I don't enjoy it. That's one of them. Another one is I don't really care for the green screen. I've tried doing green screen and like I don't like chopping up random clips that I find online, like I like B-roll vlogs, my lifestyle, and then I recycle a lot of those videos. So I would say, if you don't enjoy that content, don't make it. You don't have to. I would say if you don't enjoy that content, don't make it.
Speaker 2:You don't have to. That's so good and from everything that we've said today on the podcast, if you would like to give people something that you challenge them to do today, this week, that they could do after listening to this podcast and can take action on, what would it be?
Speaker 1:Challenge.
Speaker 2:Yeah, challenge them, because some of my listeners man will be like I'll fucking do it. Some of them will eventually go take action on it.
Speaker 1:Well, this challenge will be fun because it's only you who's going to know of the answer to this, which is ask yourself what is the biggest block or energy vampire in your life right now, example being I look at my phone too often. Another example being my friend Johnny just leads me to being the person I don't want to be, another example being porn. Another example being alcohol, you name it. Ask yourself what is the energy vampire that is your biggest distraction in your life right now, and I would challenge you to go seven days straight. Cold turkey, that shit. From the moment you hear this episode, I don't care if it's Tuesday 9 am, I don't care if it's Friday at 5. If you're really serious about change, take that challenge for a week and at the end of that challenge, if you do not feel better, go back to what it was. You have my permission, but if you feel the slightest difference, go another week and then, from there on out, you can make the choice of how long you want to keep going.
Speaker 2:Bobby, where can people find you?
Speaker 1:Instagram TikTok. Well, tiktok in the US is supposed to be gone on Monday, but it'll be back. But just at Bob A B-O-3-B-4-A-Y, or go to my website, bobbyhobertcom. I do have one other favor. If you're listening to this podcast and you made it to this moment it's very, very clear that you enjoy this show. You enjoy the content Corey's producing and I want you to know, as someone who's produced 400 plus podcasts, there's a lot of time, energy, attention, money that gets invested into creating this stuff. The smallest thing that you can do that will actually have the biggest ripple is leaving a rating or review on whatever platform you're listening in on. If you want brownie points, share this on your Instagram story and tag him. It really does make a difference in growing the show. If you're enjoying it, please do that. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much, bro Pleasure. Thanks for being on.