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Set The Standard
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Set The Standard
6 Signs Your Business Is Failing Due To Relationship Problems #271
Your relationship could be silently tanking your business.
In this video, I break down the 6 signs your nervous system, energy, and focus are leaking from behind closed doors and how your relationship dynamics might be the silent killer of your momentum.
Using Masculine Social Dynamics, I’ll show you how to take back your power, reset your nervous system, and become the most magnetic man in the room without sacrificing love OR purpose.
If you’re a business owner, coach, or entrepreneur juggling both love and leadership — this video is for you.
🎯 What You’ll Learn:
• How poor relationship dynamics impact biz growth
• Nervous system overload & performance anxiety
• Masculine leadership tools to reclaim your energy
• Hosting, Receivership, and In-Tension techniques
• The power of Effortless Attraction (and how to get it back)
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https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about
🎯 Take the 7-Day Magnetism Challenge or quiz here:
https://8eltyrvzums.typeform.com/to/n777WygR
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📈 Timestamps:
0:00 - Is your relationship sabotaging your business?
0:45 - Why biz pressure + love stress destroys magnetism
2:00 - Sign #1: You’re drained by what you used to love
3:40 - Sign #2: You feel like nothing’s ever enough
5:10 - Sign #3: You always feel alone — even around others
6:45 - Sign #4: You’re behind on important people
8:00 - Sign #5: It all feels forced
9:20 - Sign #6: You’re stuck in growth & it’s driving you mad
11:00 - How to FIX it using Masculine Social Dynamics
12:30 - Hosting, Effortless Attraction, and In-Tension
15:10 - Final truth: It’s not about doing more. It’s about leading different
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Six signs your business is failing due to relationship problems, and I'm going to teach you at the end of this video, using masculine social dynamics, how you can fix that, because, for most men, they've forgotten a few techniques, because they've been protecting, they've been providing, they've been trying to grow and scale their business. They've been working on becoming that man that they need to be. However, along the process, when your nervous system is is activated, when you're piling on stress and your brain and your heart and your body requires a new capacity of growth and being able to hold and being able to contain the greatness that you're starting to achieve, you go through bumps, you go through pits right pits when you're coming down. Then you come up and you go through a pile and everything's amazing and then everything goes down. Business is always going to be up and down and up and down, and I believe it is your ability to be able to manage the waves and ride the waves as a man regulated and grounded which create these opportunities where you become so much more magnetic instead of forcing everything all the time and this has happened to me oh, my goodness, it's happened to me so many times where I've been crushing it or when I've been in a pit and then my relationships turned to shit because I haven't been able to deal with the pressure of business or vice versa. There's been pits and piles in the relationship and that has completely affected how I've shown up in business.
Speaker 1:And, as men, we know that our business is our purpose, it's our mission, it business. And as men, we know that our business is our purpose, it's our mission, it's our vision and it's our number one thing in life. And if we're not chasing that, then we feel depressed, we feel anxious and things aren't happening. So these are six signs I'm going to teach you guys in here and I'm going to run you over some masculine social dynamics techniques that you can use in order to overcome it. So, number one you put everyone first, which kills your energy, and you start hating the work you love. So when you start noticing that work, you're like I love this work, but for some reason I don't want to do this, I don't want to look at this, I can't be bothered, I don't want to talk to people, and you start having this closed off experience. So nervous system is starting to reach capacity and if you're not getting the support that you need from your relationship and it's starting to feel like it's draining you because you can't deal with the capacity of business and you might be getting a little bit needy or a little bit sookie, or you might just be feeling genuinely exhausted and energy's feeling drained. That's just a sign that this is happening.
Speaker 1:Business is failing due to relationship problems and it's like, okay, we've got to figure something out, because both of you guys should be lifting each other up more so than bringing each other down. Two you have all the systems and knowledge, but when it comes to talking to people, well, you'd just rather be at your desk. So you're always keeping busy, but there's an insecurity that you haven't performed well enough. So this is some sort of performance anxiety, and that usually comes from needing validation or approval from your partner. So if you notice that you're talking about business all the time to your partner, it's that you're talking about it too much, or you don't want to talk about it at all and they're feeling like the business is taking from the relationship and they start bringing it up and you're just like nothing I ever do is good enough, or it feels like there's pressure to perform all the time and to be better and to do good. That's another sign that business is starting to fail due to relationship to do good that's another sign that business is starting to fail due to relationship.
Speaker 1:Three you're always the fix-it guy, so your partner and people rely on you. It's easy for you to do the work yourself, so you always feel lonely. So when you notice that you're doing all the work yourself and you're like, yep, there's another problem, I'll just do that, I'll just fix this, and there's this undertone of loneliness that shows up, you're like why is this here? Like I remember feeling this how my best friends were working for me. They were in my team, was in a relationship, and I was feeling at the time. I was like why does everything feel lonely? And no matter how much I speak to people in my team or talk to people, there's just this genuine sense of what's there. I need more connection and I need more intimacy. What's going on here? And I realized that I wasn't allowing it in from the relationship, which, which is my responsibility, nothing to do with the relationship. It's like my responsibility as a man Before you start slipping with getting back to the people who really need you, because you're the one always holding space, so you start noticing there's all these conversations that you need to have to get back to people and you're not getting back to them, like how come I haven't got back to this person or this person?
Speaker 1:Or you're feeling a lot of resistance. Haven't got back to this person or this person. Or you're feeling a lot of resistance. You're like I've got this client or I've got this person or my accountant. I just can't be bothered getting back to this person. That is just self-sabotaging your potential. You've got more on the tank and you're an absolute stud, but when your relationship is putting pressure on your business and they're putting pressure together, your energy just drains and your nervous system tanks. And that's when you're like why haven't I got the energy to do this right, and this isn't your natural state. You can clear this up. This is clearing up energetic leaks and putting in boundaries and using masculine social dynamics as well as health, optimizing your sleep and optimizing your biomarkers so that you have more energy to be able to crush business. Because it's like who's going to get more done? The to get more done. The guy has a really good sleep and has a crazy amount of energy and he's connected to his purpose. Or the guy that's tired, lethargic, stressed out and his nervous system's shot, his testosterone's really low and he needs to go on a holiday. He's going to get more done. Number five it feels like all the action that you're taking is that you have to force it for it to happen.
Speaker 1:If I'm relying on discipline, then there's no motivation, right? So I believe in discipline, but I also believe in motivation, and I think it's best when they're used together. People say you know, motivation only lasts so long. I believe that discipline only lasts so long. Right, everyone's got the term bliss-cipline, which is the what we want to get to. However, discipline is great, but some people that can last them for three, four, five years. They've understand the switch. For some people it's a month and it just depends on where you're at and the season that you're in, and sometimes it's not reliable. Like works for a period of time when you understand what it is and it can carry you through most of the times.
Speaker 1:I believe that discipline is the best to help you go from unmotivated. Discipline carries you through. You get motivated again, but because of the discipline, you've been able to remain really consistent, regardless if you like it or not. However, if your nervous system is getting completely shot and your biomarker is going down, your sleep score is going down, your energy is going down, but you're still disciplined. It's like, well, something has to change, because otherwise your body's just gonna cut out right, and we don't want that to happen. So if you're feeling like everything is forcing and you're solely relying on discipline and not motivation, this is a sign that something's going on.
Speaker 1:There's some sort of stress happening here. Is it coming from the relationship? Is it coming from the chaos of the business? What do I need to manage? First right, number six. This is a big one. You're frustrated at the lack of growth that you're experiencing right now. Why am I not growing as fast as what I'd like to grow? And things just remain stagnant and you don't know why. So you start thinking to yourself oh, next month I'll work it out, next quarter I'll work it out, or I'll just invest in myself or do something a little bit later. But you never do, and it's frustrating. And the year goes by and you're like I've been doing nothing but the same old thing repetitively for a year and nothing's changed. Right? That's a good sign that there is some stress or something going on in your business or in the relationship, which sometimes we force to look at because it's easy to go oh it's this system, it's this strategy, it's this thing, it's this person got to talk to, it's this client, it's. I just need to figure these things out, then everything will be fine.
Speaker 1:But then you're spending four hours a day, you know, messaging your partner, calling them, talking to them, texting them, thinking about them. Your mental energy and brain capacity is going to that. So you tell me who you think is going to be more successful in business, right? Or for you, who do you think is, what have you been avoiding in business? And sometimes you just go on through a sticky business and relate a sticky situation in relationships, and it isn't until you get over that hump and face the demon in that your business will end up thriving. Or it's the other way around if you don't sort out the chaos that's happening in business, your relationship starts crumbling. And then you're gonna ask yourself the question you know what's most important to you and your values and your purpose as a man. Is it your family life, is it you know relationship, or is it your business? What is your purpose combined within those and if you want to become the most magnetic man in a room that has all the opportunities come to him. You want to be respected and loved and admired by your partner, then you've got to tackle these things and sometimes you might think there's not enough room in the tank.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to do this and I can tell you right now from experiences for myself. It's just a perception shift. I remember being in situations that I've been in situations recently which have been more stressful than situations that I've been in years ago and two years ago. If I was in a situation similar to what I went through, let's say, a couple months ago, I'd be freaking out, stressing out, working like crazy, doing everything, sleepless nights to try to sort whatever the shit out is. And then recently I've been losing, using masculine social dynamics, learning how to regulate myself, understanding where I'm at in my journey and what I'm moving through and what I'm progressing through to become the most ultimate version of myself. I've just felt chill, my perceptions shift and I've been able to make really high quality decisions and get back into flow and feel more magnetic and just. Opportunities and introductions have just started creeping back in and it's like, wow, I wish I had this skill ages ago, instead of burning myself out, stressing out, driving everything to the ground and you know things.
Speaker 1:When you're in that situation, temptations like drugs, alcohol, sex, everything become more tempting. Money, gambling, all the rest of it, sacrificing your health, overworking and people pleasing all of these things can come in and it really ruins the journey. The right, the whole reason we wanted to start business, the whole reason that we wanted to go on this journey was to have an adventure and enjoy it and get to the promised land right. However, as everyone knows, on the entrepreneur's journey, when we go through it, the promised land is the journey right, and we have moments of periods and moments we're like, wow, I achieved that. That's the best thing, that's, let's go celebrate for a week. And there's this goal that I said that I was going to get and, out of my own integrity, I got it. They're the blissful moments that you know they're hard for.
Speaker 1:So here are the four strategies that you can use right, and there's like 20 masculine social dynamic strategies, but I just picked out four that I think are the best for this situation. So number one is hosting. So you forgot the lost art of hosting and facilitating. So when you're a leader, you can host things digitally in-person experiences that you've organized that demonstrate responsibility, that also show that you can provide and that you can receive using receivership, which is another masculine dynamic technique. But we're not going to go into that one today. No, we're not going to go into it today.
Speaker 1:And essentially with this one is you're so busy at work and you're so busy in your relationship that you forgot to host. If you've got to host, organize an event. So one thing that I used to do, regardless for masculine social dynamics every Fridayiday night I do ice baths and barbecue at my house. Now what happens is that puts you in a leadership position because everyone's going into your space. You're spending money to get the food organized, the place looks nice, you've got incense going on, there's areas, people to sit, you're introducing people, you're inviting new people over that you haven't met beforehand, so you're creating contacts and networks and people look at you and they as as who is a connector, and they want to say thank you so much for that because they've brought people together. You've had an amazing experience. It's this thing, done for free, where people have been able to connect and bond. Now, somewhere along the line I'm not sure if it was for you guys, but you would have forgotten doing that and I forgot how much I love hosting.
Speaker 1:And in Greek myth this is taught that hosting is your number one thing that you know you, and it's one of the biggest sins ever in greek myth is to be a terrible host. Right, it's to be a bad host. It's a sin to be people into your home, in your space, and if you do a bad job of it, it's a sin. So I was like well, the opposite of that is, you know, it's good faith for yourself is to be a really good host. So the question is for you is like okay, where you start hosting to bring that energy up, because not only are you, it may feel more stressful in the land, but you're going to be talking to people, connecting um, making you know connections and receiving a lot. People are going to be saying thank you to you. You're having a really good time. Your relationship is going to increase in terms of quality because your partner has now been able to experience social times with you in the presence of your own house. You've both been able to receive work together to create an experience for people and it's been awesome. So when the time everyone leaves and it's just like you guys hanging out, you have this like you'll just reconnect, so hosting so important.
Speaker 1:Number two effortless attraction. So this is when synchronistic stuff just happens for you in magical ways that you can't explain why, right, and that is, you've forgotten to look for synchronicities and they haven't been happening in a positive way, they've been happening in a negative way, like, oh, this negative thing happened. So most of the time, to get back to effortless attraction, there needs to have be some conversations or just in general, we've got a purge, so, whatever, there is room where your energy is just sort of leaking out, with conversations or people or you know, in general there's a lot that you have to get rid of because if you think about yourself as a battery, you've filled yourself up to um well, not a battery, let's just say, um, a tank. Right, you've filled up a fuel tank in a car and it's the wrong fuel and it's too much, and you've upgraded your engine like if you're a business, growing your relationship, growing in love. Let's say you've got a brand new car, right, and you've upgraded to a diesel car, but you're running off of gas and in your gas car you've got this full petrol tank of gas, so you need to get rid of all the gas and then refill it full of diesel. That's how effortless attraction works. And when you put your foot down on the gas pedal, the car runs smoothly and nicely and you go oh, this is exactly what it's supposed to feel like. Instead of, everything feels hard, and why isn't this machine not working? So Influenced attraction will happen when you remove things and implement boundaries.
Speaker 1:Number three is intention. Right, spelled I-N-T-E-N-S-I-O-N, not intention, not setting an intention, it's intention, right? You're actually experiencing tension in your body, tension in your muscles, tension in your brain, tension in your energy, right? So intention is sitting in the feeling of pressure, responsibility, nerves or excitement after you have set an intention. Now, what's happened most of the time, if you're in this situation, is you've set an unconscious intention or you haven't set an intention, so the world and the universe has set an you know for you that you may not have necessarily agreed upon, so you're just sitting feeling tension, just like what is going on here. Why do I feel like so much tension? This is like stress here and this is happening and that's because there is no concrete intention of what you want to happen because your body's feeling stressed. So for you, in this situation, the goal is to set an intention to heal, to make room, to create space and know that you know get what you want. Knowing that you're going through a journey of pits and piles is that that is necessary and it's always going to be there and your role is to be able to, you know, hutch tension as you can and know that it's coming, it's just a frame in your mindset. Know that the tension is going to be there until it ends and it's going to end.
Speaker 1:When you set an intention, a general intention which you have a lot of conviction for, because the second that happens you're like, oh enough, all of these other things that I've been worried and stressed, stressed about, they don't matter, it's this one intention. So this is work on, you know, skill of intention setting, which you know. You do this by creating yourself a want journal like every. If you write down what do I want, and just within, without limits, just what you want in general, you get really good at wanting. And then, as you're writing out daily, daily, what I want, eventually you'll hit a point where you'll go that is what I want. And then, when you set the intention to get at this, I'm going to get this thing, your body's going to experience a different form of tension and you go holy, and then all the other tension that you've been feeling it's just going to go, because you're like, well, I'm rid of that, I don't need this, and you know what.
Speaker 1:Number four is comfort zone. So your comfort zone is containers, frames and mindsets and environments that you create for yourself that are great but also keep your potential limited and you experience temptations to stay. So if you're in this situation, you've been growing in business Most of the time you get to a certain level where you're like, oh, this is kind of good here, and instead of taking the next big leap or the next big step, you go. I'm just going to take a moment to chill, I want to enjoy this moment for a bit, and instead of actually organizing a celebration for the goal and then setting a new goal straight away, without having that ceremony of celebrating whatever that you've achieved, that you've wanted to get, it holds you back and keeps you in the same level. Right, it really doesn't keep you in the same level.
Speaker 1:And then what happens is you develop a new mindset or a frame or with your partner. You know what I mean. It's like I'm doing this a little bit more. Let's chill here a little bit more. Let's go here. Let's go on. You know, one day a week, let's go on. Let's go on three. Let's go on one day a week, let's go on three. Let's enjoy life, let's experience and instead of setting the new intention to two because that's what you feel the most alive you sort of back and chill, and I know a lot of people get stuck in this position of just creating a comfort zone for themselves.
Speaker 1:Now, that's fine, if your intention is all right. I need two months what I'm doing for years and I need two or three months just to chill in the comfort zone for a little bit, because my nervous system has been shot, I'm going to work on my health, blah, blah, blah. Now the thing is, is the comfort zone, once you're in there, is still having, let's say, the comfort zone is around business? You still want to set intentions for getting outside of your comfort zone in other areas where you're always stretching and stretching and growing. Let's say, your health wasn't optimized while you were growing your business. So, okay, cool, set an intention to optimize my health.
Speaker 1:Now, right, while I'm having a couple of months where I'm, like you know, be hard and I don't want to like get to the next level and grow business. You know I take on that stress. I'm gonna sort of my health cool relationship. Let's get a relationship coach. Let's focus on my purpose. Let's focus on growing as a man. Let's learn masculine social dynamics, let's understand anxious attachment and let's read way of superior man and study allison, armstrong and all the people so that I can be a really good partner, so that I can get the support and love that I need whilst I'm, you know moment before I make that next big goal.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, what you're doing is, instead of, like you know, the certain goal in business, it's like you've built a house and now you're going to build another house. Now are you going to build that next house by laying a foundation, because what's happened is you're not the concreter, you're the builder, right, but you've got to get the concretors in to lay the foundation. And if you haven't, you know, good, emotional, steady foundation, you haven't got a good health foundation and then you're starting to build a new business that hasn't laid down solid concrete, which is everything in your personal life in order that you may have sacrificed to get your business to where it is now, then your chances of scaling, doing that next level, building that next house that's even bigger, will just crumble. And that's why you have the stress and the pressure and the tension that you feel. And if you get to host and that's when negative things start happening and then your relationship feels you start slipping and it feels like the action that you're taking is just forcing forcing. We don't want that to happen.
Speaker 1:So when you just know and you see the frame of your mind like I'm in a comfort zone right now, that's cool. I don't want to get out of it because my body can't handle any more stress at the moment, nor can my mind or my spirit, right? So what we want to do is work on those things, work on your body, work on your mind, work on your spirit, because what will happen is when you get in your comfort zone. You're so used to building business that doing anything else other than business is like why the hell am I doing this, right? But this is the perfect period of your life to let's go invest back into me, because I've given the last few years to business. How can I put more into me, heal from my trauma, become better at relationships, become a better leader like work on health more, get my blood started, surround myself with men, get some real big ideas so that I can be more innovative in the space and actually, instead of following someone else's footsteps, like really my own path.
Speaker 1:Right, you can do that and we teach that in my men's community called set the standard, and we're also doing a seven-day magnetic challenge where seven days of you know there's a challenge every single day to help you become the most magnetic man in the room, and if you'd like to join that challenge, which is working on all of this, just click one of the links below and I would love to have you on board for that. There's only 10 spots only and we're starting soon. If you're late to watching this, still click the link, because we're running this challenge semi-consistently, so there'll be some dates you know we can jump on board. So thank you guys so much for watching. Please subscribe. See you in the next one.