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Set The Standard
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Set The Standard
Unleash Your Masculine Charm: Use FRAME and Become Irresistible
Learn how to use the frame to instantly become magnetic in business, dating, and social life. Stop feeling invisible. Start creating tension, opportunities, and authentic attraction using Masculine Social Dynamics (MSD).
Frame is the secret that separates the guy who gets overlooked from the man people feel drawn to.
In this video, I show you how to use a frame correctly, where most men mess it up, and how to build magnetic tension authentically instead of relying on fake confidence or manipulation.
Perfect if you’re ready to level up your personal brand, leadership, dating life, and social circle with real confidence, real fun, and real power.
🔥 What You’ll Learn:
• How framing changes business, dating, and leadership results
• Why internal frame is more important than external tactics
• How playful tension creates deep connection
• Frame examples you can steal for business, dating, and networking
• How to spot when you’re leaking frame and self-sabotaging
• How to stay magnetic over time without losing your edge
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https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about
🎯 Take the 7-Day Magnetism Challenge by taking the quiz here:
https://8eltyrvzums.typeform.com/to/n777WygR?
⚡ Set The Standard Community: Where men master social magnetism, dating, leadership, and personal branding through real masculine energy.
#masculinesocialdynamics #personaldevelopmentformen #magneticman #confidence #masculineframe
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🔥 Timestamps
00:00 How Frame Makes You Magnetic
00:31 The Invisible Man vs. The Magnetic Leader
01:14 My Story: Quitting My Job, Launching My Business, & Dating Growth
03:32 Why You MUST Heal First To Have Real Social Power
04:30 Sales, Dating, & Leadership: Frame vs. Manipulation
05:31 How I Used Frame To DM My Future Partner
06:40 The Fun Of Framing In Dating (Examples)
07:49 Building Real Tension Without Being Fake
09:24 Game Theory: Why Men Who Play Win
13:30 Frame Mistakes That Destroy Long-Term Relationships
19:03 How Trauma Breaks Your Frame (And What To Do)
20:05 Social Media Framing Secrets For Business
22:07 Dating Frame Examples You Can Steal
25:28 How To Create Tension Without Rejection
26:46 Bad Frame = High Resistance (Fix This)
27:18 Quick Frame Challenges To Practice
30:03 The Power Of Eye Contact and Intimate Leadership
31:21 Final Challenges To Master Masculine Social Dynamics
Apply here https://www.coreyboutwell.net/speaksoon
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In this video, I'm going to teach you guys how to use frame, which is still part of the introduction to masculine social dynamics, and frame I have used in my social networking, dating and business life in order to increase my opportunities, become way more confident, stop feeling invisible, stop feeling like a fraud and a fake, and put myself into positions of power where I've been respected, admired, listened to and have generally just had a really good time. And it's the difference between those who are socially shy, awkward and don't get what they want and those leaders that you see who kind of just do really well in every single area. The difference is frame and the confidence to implement the frame. And that is how, when someone walks into a room and you're like, have that pull towards them instead of this push, trying energy that you know some people have when they try to enter a room and meet people or close deals, they have this more magnetic energy and I'm going to teach you guys how to get that in this video. So my name is Corey Batwell, I'm the founder of Set the Standard and if you like this video at all, please give us a like, share and a subscribe. So picture this 2021, right? What I never wanted or what I was never ready for at the same time. So, 28 years old, I just quit my office job in working in leadership and development for the government. I had just released my coaching program to help men find their purpose. It was an eight week intensive program which, I'm excited to say, a hundred percent of the men who have completed it and finished it are now absolutely crushing it in life.
Speaker 1:I was in a stage where I was using social skills and relationship techniques in order to meet women. I had broken up with a long-term ex, like a year prior to this. So I thought I felt pretty damn good with my own new growth and skills. I had been researching like a beast. I was ready to call in a one. So I don't believe in the one, I believe in ones, which is. You know, I read the rational male by Rolo Tomasi and I agreed with the point that there is no such thing as a is the one. There is. Thing is called, as you know, ones. Otherwise, if men get caught up into what they call the term one, itis means when you make a one, you're everything. I believe that that just is so real, the whole one itis thing with. You know, I kept just having one person and believing that they are the be all and end all, to the point where you self-sacrifice yourself is so real, to the point where you self-sacrifice yourself is so real, right? So you definitely want to find. You know A, one and B. You know 100% committed to someone and be able to grow in love with them for a long time. However, at the point where you gain complete one-itis and stop seeing your own power and your own strengths and you start projecting your everything onto them, they're going to get out of there, man. So I dated a few women who I liked, but they weren't a hundred percent up to my standards at this time and or what I a hundred percent desired. Um, so I was doing this.
Speaker 1:At the same time, I launched my business, I moved into state, I started bodybuilding, competition prep, and it was intense time for me. So I was hustling and I was in here. I was waiting for my future wifey. So I used what I thought was masculine social dynamics, or MSD, then, and there were some foundations of this theory being created in this period of time, right? So it's like this combination of all these different social skills, confidence, combined with holistic health and shadow work, which enable you to be able to use masculine social dynamics in a social setting.
Speaker 1:You can't use masculine social dynamics until yourself have a few things sorted out, because if you don't for example, let's say you have unhealed trauma, for example and then you walk into a room and you know that you're going to get triggered in some way, some shape, some form, and you're not a hundred percent convicted to your purpose. You're going to feel self-doubt. If someone triggers you, you're not going to feel good enough. Your confidence is going to go way down because you haven't got these foundations. When you have these foundations of you know you're a stud, you know you're convicted, you know you're convicted to where you're going in life and you've dealt with like your trauma. It's like your capacity for resilience is so much more giving you the upper edge of a masculine social dynamics. So without the this foundational pillar of self-growth, it makes it extremely difficult to show up as that guy that you really want to be. So during that year I pretty much read every conscious book around relationships that I could find it was crazy. More importantly, I used the techniques and dynamics from a place of authenticity and it worked.
Speaker 1:So a lot of these techniques that you can use and learn using masculine social dynamics and other techniques are behavioral, social, behavioral forms that essentially people use in sales as well in order to close the deal, get the sale, get someone across the line. However, there's two different ways of doing it. You can be a sleazy salesman who is just like I'm going to get this person in just so I can get money. Or you can be the person that's like I know this person's hesitating in regards to money. They want me to convince them, like they generally do, but they haven't got the skill and the strength or the mindset in order to overcome this. So I will try to help them. If I get to a certain point where I feel like it's just it's not going to work, then I'm not going to force them to make the decision. I'll set everything up for them so they can make the best decision possible. If they decide not to, I'm not going to push right. That is super authentic. Instead of trying to manipulate someone into something, you give everyone the best possible chance for them to say yes.
Speaker 1:So I was working from the moment I woke up at this time, and it was basically I woke up first thing in the morning. I had a crystal clear routine where I'd, straight away, just start getting the DMs on my social media. I'd hydrate, I'd gym, I'd work for the whole day and then I'd walk and then I'd spend 30 minutes searching on Instagram and dating apps to talking to women. And I remember searching across, you know, one woman's IG who lived in Brisbane it's like an hour from Gold Coast, australia and I thought to myself, oh, this one, I'm going to get her, like, I want her. I remember she was like talking, like, just like talking to the camera on some stuff, like hustling out there, like trying to make it happen, and she was wearing like you know, just like it was like Australia's in bikini or something. I remember just like looking at her energy, how she was talking, and I was like this, like this is the one she had to look the personality it was like 10 out of 10, my type, so like for me. I was like that is like what I envisioned myself being with, like I love that no-transcript. Her a DM and I used authentic framing in the DMs to get her interested.
Speaker 1:So framing is done in a in a healthy way. It can be one of the most fun ways to flirt in the world, right? Women are so used to being in the position of qualifying men to test to see if they're good enough for them. So when that frame essentially it's like, oh, you know, hey, how are you going? Like, you know, I want to chat to you, you look cute, whatever it is, immediately if you start talking to a woman in that position, they're like, okay, this guy's coming on to me, let's what he's got right, so she's qualifying you. It's the same thing on a sales call.
Speaker 1:So if you're talking to someone on a sales call or you're creating social media, if you're like, hey, I've got this offer, I've got this thing, you should come and join it, people are immediately thinking why should I join it? Instead of changing the frame around which is like okay, I've got something here, you guys want this. So how can you create that? So that you know it's like a challenge for people or they have to overstep some hurdles in order to come, and you know, join you. And this is all just done through framing right. And this is the difference between you know, when I've had my most success in business and when I've had the least success in business. Frame is the uh difference, which is like made one extreme and the other extreme happen and and. But the first frame has to be internal first, right, if it's just external it's not going to go anywhere. You have to have it internally first. So when the script is flipped and you start qualifying, you know other people, whether it be dating, business or whatever, but you know, for example, you start this, you know rock paper scissors game of who can maintain the frame, especially when it comes to dating.
Speaker 1:So, after all, everyone likes a chase and it makes sense for men to be the one, to be the one that's qualified to in the long run, because if he plays it safe with his finances and looked after his health, he's going to start peaking. 50 years old, it's like men's wealth just grows so much as they, as they get older. And you know we're at peak position. It's like you know, 35 to 55 is like peak for men. You know health, fitness, you know wisdom in their brain, emotional intelligence, financials, like you know it's just, it's a really good position to be, you know, for men. So I think it makes a lot of sense that it's like okay, a guy in that peak position is also going to be a lot more fun for a woman who's you know, up and coming, instead of a guy who's you could say, you know, quote unquote desperate.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, in your early twenties, your frame and your position is off right, unless you're you know, um, your frame and position is off just in regards to comparing yourself to a guy that's you know, let's say, 45 years old, who's got some of his shit together. However, you can still have way more positioning and way more frame in the early twenties, depending on the right target audience that you're speaking to and what you want. So, like, if you're a, if you're in your early twenties and you're, you know, super convicted, you know your mission, you're working in business and you're trying to like build something that you're extremely passionate about and you've gone through some, you know, big self breakthroughs and you know you've have someone else who is young and interested in that, like you're positioning, a frame is probably going to be more than someone who's 45. Right, so essentially he's the one who's in position where he can ensure the safety of his partner and the family. Like, this is a good positioning to have. Or, you know, there's's the if you're chasing your mission, it's like, well, I want to go on adventure with this person. Right, he's either got the thing and he knows where he's at and he's still going on an adventure, or he's gonna going on an adventure now. I want to support this guy. That is what, you know, works in dating and with team members as well. It's like, wow, look at the energy around this person that they're, you know, creating this vortex. I want to jump on board. Right, so it's with with anyone. But it really works a bit within dating.
Speaker 1:So the frame of qualifying someone with a text, let's say, for example, if you're framing in dating, it's like replying to an instagram story or something along the lines of like, interesting, I'm not sure if you're cute, but crazy, but crazy but cute, right. Let's just say that, for example. Or you reply to someone else's story saying like, uh, oh, you know something like that. Or like, oh, you look, right. So, this way, if they like the look of you because it's not always going to work, but this, if they like the look of you and they like your presence and they're like you know where you're at, they might start playing the game of frame with you, right? So, if they don't like the look of you, not the type, whatever it is, and they don't buy into you know your cheeky little Instagram story reply then don't worry about it, like that is, for that's just like there's got nothing on, like it's not who you are as a person, it's just you're just not their type. If they like you and you're single, and they're single and they haven't got shit going on on their life and they're willing to engage in a conversation with you, you know, for example, they'll reply something you know I'm both. Or you know why are you saying uh-oh? Or you know, yes, I know you probably more trouble than me. You know something like that. Right, just something, just standard, just to see if you've got you know any more game and you can hold a frame and then you qualify and frame again. So, for example, it's like you know, tell me about it.
Speaker 1:I'm only really attracted to women who are both, so I hope you're telling the truth. So I'm just using this as a very specific example of your story replying and I use something similar like this I was like okay, but I adjust depending on the look and the vibe that I get from the person. I try to authentically match who they are, whether it be sales or dating, for example, or business and networking. I'm using dating as an example. I would try to like okay, what do I know about this person, how can I really authentically engage and what do I think is the vibe that's going to fit and what I want? You know what I mean, like, what do I really want and what's the game that I want to play with this person, based off of their vibe?
Speaker 1:So just saying something like that tell me more about how you're cute but crazy, crazy but cute. For example, I'm only really attracted to women who are both. So I hope you're telling the truth right? So it doesn't matter what you say here and you could be cringing at this, but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:But what you're doing in this text message is, like you know, I hope you're telling the truth and tell me more about it is, if she's in a position in life to buy in and she does, she will allow herself to. You know, jump in Same with the guy. If you're a girl and you're doing this to a guy, it will. It will work. However, it's not going to be as attractive as if he's doing it to you so she might talk about herself. You know, of course I'm telling the truth. Truth, I don't know if you can handle it, though let's not a test. She's not doubting you, some men in this position, if you're, if she says, like you know, I don't think you could handle it. You're like why is she challenging me, why is she testing me? Right, some guys will see this as a fun game. They're like hell yeah, like let's go.
Speaker 1:But this is happening in this situation is, if your intention is sexual experience or love or anything like that, it comes after setting the intention of what you want. So, for example, when I was talking to this woman, my intention was I want to date her. Right, I want to date her. I'm going to be a partner. So the tension that I experience in my body is going to be a little bit more than if it was something fun, because there's higher stakes on the line, cause this is someone I want to get to really know on a personal level. So all half-assed relationships that you stuff up become like come because you're in tension and then you can't handle the tension.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, what you want to do is play the game and have fun with your intention being in the tension as well, and build the tension. So, instead of seeing it as something negative, it's like how much tension can actually build with this person because it's going to be fun. And then you can reply to them by requalifying, for example. It's like you know, it depends on the cute to crazy ratio. I know exactly what I want. So are you more cute or are you more crazy, and why? And then you know you can go back and forth from there having fun while getting to know each other in a way that builds that tension right. So I was just using this as an example, like this.
Speaker 1:Remember, I said this doesn't actually matter what's going on here, but, as you can see within these messages, there's like this fun framing, you know, back and forth. This is going to happen with your personal brand audience. This is going to happen with your teammates. This is going to happen with your staff or your employees. This is going to happen with your customers. There's always going to be this form of tension with these. You know games that you play or framing, but it doesn't have to be bad, it doesn't have to be negative and it doesn't have to be manipulative, it can just be fun. It's like, okay, if you have an intention and this person likes your intention and they're willing to play the game, then play it.
Speaker 1:This is, I believe, one of the most important things of humanity that we actually get to experience with people, which builds connection and intimacy in a fun way. This is when, like, guys talk about like oh, that mate, that dude's got good bands, you know what I mean, he's got good band to have fun with that person. It's like, yeah, you guys are just building tension right. There's sometimes, when you have employees and staff or customers and clients, you're like I really like this person, we'll have this like teasing thing going back and forth. It's really fun. You're just flipping frame. You know, it's all it is. It's like one's fighting for frame, one's getting the frame and then it's like changing around right and this is fun.
Speaker 1:But when you understand this in your mind, then you have you have a good intention and you can take authentic you know engagement and you can take authentic, you know engagement and you can take masculine action on things. Then, like, you start progressing to actually get your goals right. You really start getting there and I feel like so many people don't know this and it's such a secret that I'm like, here. Learn this. It's going to be so healthy for you in your career and your success in your dating life.
Speaker 1:So, but no, no, if you want, you want tension to sit. If you want an intimate relationship that's a long-term you want the tension to sit at about a seven out of 10, a 10 out of 10 sets the bar way too high and then it's way too high to maintain most of the time, especially for long-term relationships. So you want to hit it around seven and slowly build, build, build, build, build. But if you're just having like a you know, a fun experience with someone, you want the energy to be really high then, and you know it's going to be something short and fleeting, then go for 10 out of 10. And that's with you know contractors and business or anything else. It's like any relationships that you know you're going to have long-term. You want to keep that tension around like a you know a six to it up to an eight sometimes, not get to a 10 too much.
Speaker 1:So I made this mistake. After you know, we played in the, like the woman that I was speaking to in Instagram. Um, we played in the fun and playful banter and I ruined my positioning for a long term relationship. From the start, because it was like way too high. I asked her and I and this is the mistake that I made so I asked her deep and personal questions that were so deep that I become the source of emotional dependency for her, right, and I wanted that, like inserted myself into that position because I thought that that was going to be the way that's going to, like you know, keep her love right. So that's asking about her trauma, digging into her and then validating her for it, thinking that if she opened up to me, she would build an attachment to me and would love me. And then, like she did, right, and however, I made myself into the position of almost emotional carer for her, which is, can start to breathe.
Speaker 1:You know, um, it can, it can, it can breed toxicity in relationships. Right, this is, like you know, an unconscious shadow of my own anxious attachment, trying to search for attachment in things that are healthy, like you know, emotional, um, emotional growth and caring and nurturing and validation for someone else, because in a, in a shadow perspective, deep down, I would have been looking for that within the start of the relationship, right, it's like, oh, that's what I want, so I'm going to do it to someone else and then we don't know that we're doing it. That's blowing your guys' brains right now. So to think at the start of the position like this is the most fun in the world, who I can open up my love to, and not trauma to, is the best way to go right. So that's the kind of position that you want to have. You know, who can I open up my love to? Not my trauma, is the best way, especially at the start.
Speaker 1:Building position and keeping it all around love, because I do believe, after a couple of years being in a relationship, that emotional dependency on each other is actually important. Like this is research from john gray, the author of men are from mars, women are from venus, like he says. Like you know, the the foundation, like need is the foundation of relationships, and he's like it's actually healthy and you know I do believe that. But there has to be foundational first around. You know just love, just friendly fun. You know unconditional love, that you know I really like this person and we've built a good friendship. And then after that, I think the dependency for long-term relationships happens when you guys understand that you can be a match for each other and hold space for each other in regards to your own growth, while simultaneously having 100% responsibility for your own right, and then that way, I believe that is what can create a really healthy relationship, don't you guys agree, like? I just think that's so important.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, the trauma and emotional dependency requires someone to have a circle of people that they can go to for support that is not their partner. Before the relationship progresses into an agreement stage of here I am and here I are for you, I can hold you through this with the support of others, as this relationship serves as a trigger to help me elevate to my highest self right. So that's exactly kind of what I said beforehand. But you know, knowing that you have support groups as well. So it's safe to say that this frame didn't work out for me in the end because of the dependency of emotional validation that I was seeking, projecting onto someone else trying to create this bond. So my lack of knowing my own personal boundaries prevented me from taking the time to enjoy building a strong foundations before developing the life partner frame or status.
Speaker 1:So it's like, if you're thinking about progression, it's like, okay, before we get to life partner, how can we, you know, you know work through these frames and positioning, you know, for the time, like together, which is actually, you know, instead of diving so far off the deep end. It's, like you know, creating a little bit of distance at first and slowly allowing to get someone to know you and slowly opening up. If you go in straight away and you're setting out this, like you know, 10 out of 10, amount of, you know, passion, intimacy and everything else, then it kind of ruins. I think it ruins this, like you know, um, better, like for worse words, it's like this yumminess that comes into a relationship that's, like you know, fun and exciting and they're like it slowly grows and I'm starting to learn more and more of someone, cause what you'll notice is avoidance will keep out too much, like people who have avoided avoidant attachment, they will stay on the sidelines too much and won't buy in enough. Then anxious attachment people will just go all in straight away Cause they're like, yes, I can finally, like you know, attach myself to someone.
Speaker 1:So, with all of this, I just was using this as an example of framing, but now you can also understand how your wound anxious or avoid an attachment, whichever one that you've got. Um, if you have them, unless you've got integrated attachment, let's go for people who are integrated. Now you can see how the frame can come from the wounds and how I mentioned at the start of this video, framing and positioning is a lot harder without healing and convicted and conviction to purpose and knowing where you're going and what you're doing in life. Right, how insane is this? Okay, how insane is this? So that was essentially my story, like for myself, of how, you know, I kind of mess things up by messing up the frame at the start of a relationship.
Speaker 1:So I mentioned a couple of different techniques as I was talking, right? So this is the second pillar of masculine social dynamics, which is framing. One of the techniques, the first one's actually positioning and I mentioned that in one of the last previous videos would have been linked somewhere around here. Um, so that you don't get too confused when I'm explaining positioning, because positioning is a little bit harder to, you know, concept, like at the conception for, but framing is subtle and conscious perception, game plays to control or influence social containers best use post authentic positioning. So this is essentially where I'm talking about the games of, like.
Speaker 1:You know, how can we, you know, flip the script on each other and have fun to see you know who's qualifying to the other person. Right, you can. You can do this on your stories and social media. Like, for example, a, let's say, a social media frame, right, would be like you know, um, let's have a look here. You know you're not lazy, you're carrying so much pressure that you've numbed it out. I see it right If you start saying that to someone, they're like oh wow, like I kind of get this person, and then you say, for example, you'd be like this offer, this thing that I'm putting out here on social media, isn't for people who are soft, it's for people who know that they've got way more in them. So now you've said that people are like I'm not soft, I know I've got more in me, they're starting to qualify themselves to you. It's interesting, right, because this is like marketing 101 that can be used. It's actually quite genius. But when you understand this concept, you can start to use it everywhere.
Speaker 1:I tell that story beforehand with the relationship example as it relates to social confidence and masculine leadership, so much, and how we can take it and understanding the intricacies and the depth of what's actually happening here. So if you don't know how to frame yourself in sales calls, social media, deals and partnerships, you know, either getting a pay rise, you know, getting a different job, getting a promotion, deals and communications communication with strangers, potential people you want to know or network with in your dating life, your intimate relationship then this is going to be it. I'm going to teach you guys some frames right here. This is to increase your chance of being ignored. Like, like, if you don't know, then you increase your chance of being ignored, uh, of being invisible, and it's not good when you're you know, in life you feel like you're stagnating, right, because of you know, your own personal growth. So I'm just going to run through a couple of different examples here.
Speaker 1:So, in dating so this is called a disqualifying frame you're cute, but you're way too wild for me, right? This is pulling away slightly, creating a void for someone to lean in. So they're like what do you mean? I'm too wild for you, you know what I mean. Or they could, for example, say something along the lines of like yeah, of course, I'm too wild for you, you know what I mean. And now you're the one that's going to have to, you know, try to get frame back which is really fun. Um, now, a lot of guys who have anxious attachment or avoid an attachment might say you know, you're cute, but you're way too wild for me in dating. You can, you can say this to your partner as well. Like this is just like straight up frame floating. You could say, but if they say, of course, I'm way too wild for you, a lot of guys are good, holy shit, she's like making me qualify herself to you. That's the whole point of it, man.
Speaker 1:Like that is where the fun is, in the energy of the relationship. It's like Ooh, how can I now like flip this around? Like this is really fun, challenging frame. Do you actually think this through? Like this relationship with this dating experience, whatever it is, did you actually? Or like, if you're in an intimate relationship, you could say you know someone could do something and you'd be like did you actually think this through? This could be trouble for you. So immediately, you're just setting this like a little bit of this naughty frame which is a light challenge right, which creates tension and gives you an opportunity to lead and the other person to go. All right, challenge is on, game is on, let's go Like oh, I just love this shit so much, it's just so fun.
Speaker 1:Right, you can label the moment. So this shows like some authority. So it's like I like this flirty energy that you're giving me. Are you always like this Same thing in the intimate relationship? I like this flirty energy that you've been giving me today, babe, like you know what I mean. Like could you keep this up a week? Um, so, labeling a moment like that and then showing that you're playing and you know what's going on, you do this because you actually like it and you label the thing that you actually like and that makes it so much fun because then the other person knows that it's like okay, they're labeled this moment, they have emotional intelligence and they can understand, like where we're at right now, which I think is so incredible and it's so so, um, it just makes, it, just brings us more fulfillment back to life.
Speaker 1:Like, if you notice that everything's kind of boring at the moment, it's like you're missing out on these little game plays, like humans play games. And if you've listened to the infinite game theory you've listened to alex or mosey talk, you've listened to jordan peterson talk, they talk about this infinite game theory where it's like the winner of the games is the person who keeps to play more games and keeps on playing games. Now, the reason for that is for humans, right, is we love games, right, we just love games so much and our brains love games we find so much fun and enjoyment out of, and we can just be playing these games all the time for fun, not as in like, oh, you're playing games. It's like, yes, we get to play games because we're human, like that's all we want to do is play games. And we understand, through marketing now and game and also game theory, that you know the human brain, when we gamify something, are way more likely to stick to something. So let's play games, guys, so fun.
Speaker 1:A boundary frame Don't stay out too long. My mornings are sacred, you know. So, for example, this is like a like a cheeky thing of, like you know, actually implementing your boundaries. So if you've got stuff to do, this is extremely important to actually put in. You know this is masculine frame. That's like you know you're letting this person know what your, what your non-negotiables are, and if you can't put this in, then you know and you keep crossing your own boundaries and this person's going to see you as a pushover. You don't want to be a pushover, so you want to make sure that you do it, but you have fun in the process, right? So this is, instead of having to get to the point where someone's crossed your boundaries and you have to sit down and have a word, you short term and make them fun, right? Business frames. So let's say the disqualifying one.
Speaker 1:This program isn't for beginners. It's built for guys who are already moving fast, right? You know, this offer, whatever it is, isn't for beginners. It's people who are already moving fast. Which is pulling away, creating a void, challenging you. Sure you've thought this through. It could be what's holding you back. So this is a light challenge intention which gives you an opportunity again to lead.
Speaker 1:Challenging labeling the moment you're hesitating, I get it. Big moves like this usually mean something. This tension that you're experiencing happens when change is about to come. Intimate leadership frame You're not just buying coaching, you're not just buying this product, you're not just buying this service. You're stepping into the man that you've been avoiding so immediately. It's like it leads the emotional tone of the interactions. It shows that you can fill the room and fill the energies which builds trust with people.
Speaker 1:Social media Challenger frame, still doing the same habits and expecting growth. That's delusion, right? Someone's like what do you mean? That's delusion. You know what am I going to do? So this is building authority, labeling the moment. If you're still watching this, it means you're tired of settling immediate tide, of settling Again another frame that's been put in there.
Speaker 1:So, as you can see how these frames work, there's an equation that I've got. It's called framing equals perception of control, times by emotional impact minus resistance. Okay, boom, right, this is so powerful. Perception control is how well you subtly direct the meaning of the moment, which is labeling, reframing, disqualifying, leading emotion. Emotional impact is how much your frame stirs desire, safety, tension or resonance, like a pause, a smirk, a word that makes you feel seen, and then resistance, which is your ego. So how much their ego, the other person's ego or nervous system, fights your influence. So if you frame too early or without trust and authenticity this is the warning and integrity then everything's just going to backfire.
Speaker 1:So if there's no trust or authenticity there or someone can't, can't feel that within you, you may have perception control, you may have emotional impact, but their resistance is going to be way up and that's what men, you know, experience most of the time in masculine social dynamics, because they haven't positioned themselves well enough yet. Does that make sense? So, for example, if you had a terrible social media and you had like two posts and then you were DMing someone that has like 20,000 followers and it was a girl that you liked and she was an influencer and you thought she was really cute and you want to have a conversation with her, your positioning is off dude, like you know what I mean. Even if you did that in regards to getting a podcast guest who you wanted to interview someone, or something like that, you're positioning off right. It's their resistance is going to be so high. Even if you have, you know, um, there's well, there's going to be no perception control there either. So it's going to be really hard, even if you try to frame something you know really well. So what you could do in that situation is find that person's address, send them a letter, send them something fun, whatever impactful and meaningful to them, and then they receive that. Now you're changing their perception, they're creating emotional impact and their resistance is going way down right.
Speaker 1:It's the same thing when it comes to, you know um, dating. So I got a bit of challenge, a bit of a challenge for you guys. So tell someone this is a bit disqualifying, right. Tell someone you're cute, you're cool, but you're not usually my type. Um, you can say this to someone in dating. You can say you can say it to a friend, like a mate, you can be like you're cool, but you don't hang out with people like you never like.
Speaker 1:Well, just like, watch, watch their, um, how they react to that, right, and um, sometimes, just notice, if your energy is off and you say something like this, that's teasing and your energy is off and it's coming from somewhere that's not super authentic, notice how someone's response will be bad. You know, with playing this frame, there is risks, right, and there will be moments where you say something and you fuck something up and you're like oh shit, why did I say that? Right, so it happens the challenger. So question a client or a friend, explain to me how that's not playing small, right? So say that and then see how they respond to that. Did they jump in? Did they try to lead? And then, like, create that tension? Did you feel tension when you said that to someone? Because they start justifying themselves. They're like oh well, it's not small because of this, this, this, or they'd be like, yeah, man, that was playing small. You're like, yeah, you've got more in the tank, so label which is that labeling, the emotion, um part, or what's happening in general. So you're doing that thing again.
Speaker 1:You know, you say that to someone that you're on a date with your partner or like a friend or whatever it is. Like that's that thing, you're doing it again. But notice, you could say you're doing that thing again and it can come from a point of oh, they're pissed off or frustrated at me. Or you can just say something, something lightly, like that's that thing, you're doing it again, and they'll go shit, man. And then you'll notice that the frame like how the frame is, is they start, you know, saying I'm doing that thing again because of this, this, this, this, this, whatever you know. But then you're in a position to either validate them or you're in the battle of framing, knowing that if you validate someone or you emotionally help them in some way, shape or form, you ruin the game. Right, that's game over.
Speaker 1:You've put yourself in like a dom position or like you've, you've actually just submitted to the game instead of keeping it going. So most of the time, let's say, for example, if they're like there's that thing, you're doing it again. They're like, oh, I know, I know, but then you could bring them up by saying something, like you know, a little bit cheeky, I was like, well, what are you going to do about it? Right, they go well, I'm going to do this, is this, is this. And you're like okay, like, look at you with big boy pants on, or, like you know, look at you with big girl pants on right, and they're like yeah, like, oh, I'm attracted to people. I like hanging out with people like you that got driving it and have got what it takes to take some action. I go, yeah, of course. So, as you're having this conversation now, you're increasing the gameplay, right? So what I was doing in my head just then, as I was thinking that up, and maybe a bad example, maybe a good example, I'm not sure it depends on your perception, but what I'm doing is just like, how can I keep this game playing? How can I just like enable this person chance to frame and how can I continue this going because it's fun, right?
Speaker 1:Um, the boundary frame, which is, you know, saying to a low leverage invite and statewide, like you know I don't. You know, go to random parties. I don't take random calls, you know I don't. It could be someone in your dms trying to call you. It's like I don't do random stuff like that. I don't wait in line.
Speaker 1:Um, silent presence this is a real cool one. Hold eye contact for 60 second minimum and try to get that 60 seconds amount of eye contact with someone without saying anything, right? So this is just like a really awesome way for for framing in I want to say framing and then introducing your presence of like, just practicing your presence of just. You know, hold eye contact science with someone. It could be a stranger, it could be someone that you love, it could be a friend, teamwork, employee, and just see what happens. And you'll watch that other person and see if they break first or they might just think that you're doing a staring contest. Sometimes that happens we respond oh cool, we're doing a staring contest right now.
Speaker 1:Intimate leadership. So reflect on someone's inner world. You know it feels like you're holding something back. Like tell me a little bit more like. I know there's more under the surface there. Speak to me on that.
Speaker 1:And then honest evaluation. So genuinely praise someone for strength that they, you know, don't usually get seen for. So this is when you see, you know, when you're looking at someone and you're getting to know them and you just might notice, for example, like they might just smile and it might just brighten up a whole room, and the appreciation and the feedback is like you know that when you smile, like everything just gets brighter, like everything. Like you should use that more, like I don't know how you can use that in terms of to help yourself succeed, but like that's a strength that you've got that, I think, is awesome, right. So this way, it's not like you're complimenting someone, for example, to suck up to them. It's like you can genuinely see a power in someone and you're giving them honest feedback on it. So there's some challenges.
Speaker 1:If you like this video, guys, and you want to learn more about social, masculine social dynamics, please like, share and subscribe. That really helps me out. Or come and join my community and set the standard. Set the standard we do. I do a bunch of coaching. We've got a seven-day magnetic challenge and we're helping people learn these skills, implement masculine social dynamics so they have more success in business, become better in dating and we heal all their shit, so they become way more consistent in the gym. It's weird how that works. So big love, thanks for watching. See you guys in the next one.